Bernstein: Nobody Cares About Your Fantasy Team
Enjoy. Have your annual draft party in your friend's basement man-cave, indulging in as many scotches, Swisher Sweets and nacho-cheese Bugles you desire.
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Enjoy. Have your annual draft party in your friend's basement man-cave, indulging in as many scotches, Swisher Sweets and nacho-cheese Bugles you desire.
It seems like Lance Briggs woke up, felt a twinge in his injured knee, flipped the calendar ahead to November to see his 31st birthday circled in red marker, and realized that he probably already has signed away his last chance at big money.
There's no easy way to say what I'm about to say, nor is there any pleasant way to talk about one of the worst diseases there is – one so excruciating and unfair, and so relentless.
Shocking, right? Another major college sports program is now reported to have funneled dirty money from dirty boosters to dirty kids to do dirty things.
Go away, Carlos, and take the whole act with you. Pack up all your stomping, snorting, outsized machismo and sell it somewhere else.
What the Bears appear to be thinking is this: our problems last year were only a matter of personnel, and we have better parts in better places. We can run this system the way it was meant to run, last year's struggles be damned.
When Ricketts and his siblings took over the Cubs, he knew he needed to make significant changes to the baseball business, and he was not shy about telling people close to him about his plans.
I was wrong. I told myself that I was enough of a fan of PGA golf that the absence of one of the best athletes of my lifetime would not affect my enjoyment of the sport.
It never felt right that a shaky offensive line seemed so desperate to retain a mediocre center.
I take my eyes off my screen for two minutes, and already I'm behind what's going on as the MLB trade deadline approaches, while the NFL is in the middle of its wacky, post-lockout farmers market.
In the same week that ratification of a new labor agreement is expected to occur, the news came yesterday that Cutler's high-profile engagement to reality-TV body Kristin Cavallari is over.
It has to be over for the current regime. Not just double-checked, monitored and supervised, but over.
Just look carefully at how the narrative has changed since the U.S. women's team blew the chance of a lifetime in a loss to a vastly inferior Japanese team in the World Cup final.
When NFL players decertified their union months ago, it was a cosmetic, procedural move to pave the way for antitrust litigation in an attempt to gain leverage against owners bent on grabbing a bigger share of the profits.
By gametime, I won't be surprised to see that Adam Dunn and Randy Wells have been added to the rosters. I was initially taken aback by Aramis Ramirez's decision yesterday to turn down an All-Star invitation, but now I'm with him.
I wish I knew which train was carrying the dirty bomb. Trust me, I'd have told you. Nuclear launch codes? Sure. Um…Tango, Echo, five, seven, Foxtrot, seven, niner? No? Can I try again?
Give a guy $56 million, watch him hit .171, and we all become tee-ball parents. "Yay, Adam! Adam got a hit! Honey, take a picture – did you bring your phone? I know, I'm low on battery, too…just take one…Great job, Adam!"
Every next thing we hear from the Cubs is crazier than the last.
You would almost have to do this on purpose, to screw it up so badly. It's hard to accomplish, really, when you consider how many other stupid, spoiled babies surrounded by parasitic enablers have successfully gamed the college system for one year.
They sure looked on top of things, that four-man panel in the Prudential Center in Newark last night, a tableau of expertise and awareness, presiding over the 2011 NBA draft with gravitas and control.
If we were really paying attention, we would have seen this coming.
We have a tendency in this town to look for scapegoats when things go badly for the home team. Ask Steve Bartman, Hue Hollins, Jerry Dybzinski, and the Gatorade-soaked glove of Leon Durham.
So Carlos Boozer is some combination of injured, old, slow, loud, expensive and bad. Fine.
If you're going to be called an "energy player," it means three things about you are true.
The only proper way to render what that was last night would be to have it painted in oil by Bruegel the Elder and hung in the Prado.
The Lake County Sheriff's office said on Friday, around 3 p.m., deputies responded to a report of a person who asked a 14-year-old girl to engage in a sexual act.
Two Chicago police officers were shot inside Swedish Hospital in Chicago's Lincoln Square neighborhood on Saturday morning. One has since died.
A donut shot in Gurnee, Illinois, was broken into overnight.
An SUV crashed into a Chicago police car in The Loop early Saturday morning.
Three people are in custody after police said an attempted traffic stop leads to an exchange of gunfire with Chicago police early Saturday morning.
U.S. Attorney Jeanine Pirro said that the Federal Reserve's inspector general will investigate cost overruns in project to renovate the central bank's headquarters.
Hegseth indicated during a Pentagon news conference that the Trump administration is in no hurry to reach a peace deal as the war continues.
Inspector General Deborah Witzburg said Mayor Brandon Johnson's campaign promises of improved transparency in the mayor's office don't match his actions since he took office.
It's looking increasingly likely that Illinois voters will not see an amendment about creating a "millionaire tax" on the ballot in November.
The soldier allegedly bet on Nicolás Maduro's removal as president of Venezuela before news of the raid was reported, sources told CBS News.
In the legal venue of anti-trust enforcement, the state is not taking on the Trump administration, but rather filling a void that state officials say the Trump administration has vacated.
A passenger on an American Airlines flight from New York to Chicago has been charged with making a false bomb threat that forced an emergency landing at Detroit Metro Airport last month, according to a federal criminal complaint.
Skyrocketing property taxes continue to be a hot-button issue in Cook County — particularly since last fall, when many residents saw their tax bills increase by 100% or more.
Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias this weekend issued a warning about a surge in text messages that falsely claim to come from his office or the DMV within it.
Tenants at a South Loop luxury high-rise that has been plagued with problems like broken elevators are vowing to fight five-day eviction notices.
A new $48 million wellness center opened Thursday in the West Garfield Park neighborhood. The goal is to improve the health and quality of life for people on the West Side of Chicago.
La Rabida Children's Hospital went all out for Earth Day on Wednesday, with volunteer cleanup efforts by staffers and activities for patients and families.
It has been several weeks since West Suburban Medical Center in Oak Park, Illinois, abruptly shut down — and then on Wednesday, it just as swiftly partially reopened, with some services available.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says more than 80% of deaths related to pregnancy are preventable, and Black women are three times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes than white women.
The United States has long struggled with understanding and finding ways to help treat mental illness. A new documentary, which is screening Saturday in Chicago, examines the reality of living with mental illness in America.
At a meeting on Tuesday, the Lincolnwood Village Board approved a pre-development agreement with the mall, providing a roadmap with the property owner for further preparations and government approvals for redevelopment.
The only remaining location of Pal Joey's pizzeria in Batavia, Illinois, will soon be going out of business, its owner announced this week.
Investment research firm Morningstar could move into the Thompson Center in downtown Chicago once Google is done renovating the former Illinois state government building.
Trader Joe's is planning to open a new location at the Lincoln Village Shopping Center in Chicago's North Park neighborhood, the office of Ald. Debra Silverstein (50th) recently announced.
The satirical news outlet The Onion has a new plan to take over conspiracy theorist Alex Jones' Infowars platforms and turn them into parodies.
Jake was at the funeral for one of his closest friends when he learned of his parents' deaths, he said.
Tickets for the 2026 Ravinia Festival season went on sale Thursday morning.
The satirical news outlet The Onion has a new plan to take over conspiracy theorist Alex Jones' Infowars platforms and turn them into parodies.
Emily Saliers, one-half of the Atlanta folk duo The Indigo Girls, has revealed that she has been diagnosed with two incurable movement disorders that will forever change the way that she sings.
Blues icon and world music pioneer Taj Mahal will be headlining the Chicago Blues Festival this June.
The officers were taken to Illinois Masonic, where one was pronounced dead, and another was listed in critical condition.
Take a look inside One of a Kind Spring Show, taking over the 7th floor of THE MART through Sunday.
Two Chicago police officers were shot inside Swedish Hospital in Chicago's Lincoln Square neighborhood on Saturday morning.
A Chicago police officer was pulled from a serious crash in The Loop overnight.
It's time to clear out your medicine cabinet
Two Chicago police officers were shot inside Swedish Hospital in Chicago's Lincoln Square neighborhood on Saturday morning. One has since died.
Three people are in custody after police said an attempted traffic stop leads to an exchange of gunfire with Chicago police early Saturday morning.
An SUV crashed into a Chicago police car in The Loop early Saturday morning.
The Lake County Sheriff's office said on Friday, around 3 p.m., deputies responded to a report of a person who asked a 14-year-old girl to engage in a sexual act.
A donut shot in Gurnee, Illinois, was broken into overnight.
A mother in southwest suburban Morris, Illinois, is fighting for stiffer penalties for adults charged with grooming children. Some local lawmakers agree, saying Illinois' current law is too weak and puts kids in danger.
Almost 24 hours after a derailment made a mess of the Red, Purple, and Yellow lines in Chicago, the CTA continued to investigate the cause of the incident, and experts were raising concerns about what they called a troubling pattern.
There are 22 city of Chicago crews out on our roads filling potholes across the city day in and day out.
Michaels spent years as an advocate for sexual assault survivors, putting pressure on Congress and speaking out on behalf of Jeffrey Epstein survivors, like herself.
Residents in one part of Chicago's Noble Square neighborhood say they've been dealing with cars careening off the Kennedy Expressway and crashing into their front yard for decades, and the state won't help.
Munetaka Murakami hit his 11th homer of the season and reliever Seranthony Domínguez struck out two in the ninth inning for his sixth save as the Chicago White Sox beat the Washington Nationals 5-4 on Friday night.
The Chicago Bears picked three offensive players on the second day of the 2026 NFL Draft, selecting Iowa center Logan Jones on in the 2nd round, and Stanford tight end Sam Roush and LSU wide receiver and return specialist Zavion Thomas in the 3rd round.
The Chicago Bears selected Oregon safety Dillon Thieneman with the 25th overall pick in the 1st round of the NFL Draft on Thursday night.
Andrew Benintendi hit a tiebreaking three-run homer in the ninth inning that lifted the Chicago White Sox over the Arizona Diamondbacks 4-1 for their third win in four games.
Dansby Swanson had his first game-ending hit in five years, and the Chicago Cubs rebounded from a pair of blown leads to beat Philadelphia 8-7 in 10 innings for their ninth straight win and the Phillies' ninth loss in a row.
Efforts were ramping up Friday night to support the family of a Little Village fruit vendor who was killed in a mass shooting that left three other people wounded earlier this week.
Zamil Limon's remains were found on the Howard Franklin Bridge in Tampa. His roommate was in custody, officials said.
The family of a 16-year-old boy who was shot and killed while waiting for the bus near Hyde Park Academy High School said they believe the shooting was sparked by a minor argument earlier in the day at school.
A woman was ordered detained Thursday on charges that she shot and wounded three men on busy Irving Park Road in the Chicago neighborhood of the same name earlier this month.
A lockdown was lifted at Evanston Township High School on Thursday afternoon, after shots were fired at a park near the school.