Nina In New York: For Heaven's Sake, Do Not Grade The Subway Stations
A lighthearted look at news, events, culture and everyday life in New York.
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By Nina Pajak
I'm a strong believer in not setting yourself up for failure and disappointment. Aim for achievable short-term goals, don't weigh yourself after a huge meal, don't look at the nutrition facts on that chocolate rabbit, don't get a prix-fixe meal on New Year's or Valentine's Day.
Easy, simple rules to live by.
Somewhere between reading the ingredients list for McNuggets and inspecting a motel room with infrared lights lies a new idea being bandied about the city: cleanliness grades for subway stations. That's right. City Councilman James Vacca is advocating for the MTA to start assigning A, B, and C grades based on criteria like garbage quantity, rat proliferation, graffiti, water pooling, and cleanliness.
Bahahahahaha. Oh, wait. He's serious? I'm pretty sure we're going to have to develop a system that goes well beyond the letter "C."
Vacca's intentions are good.
"I want them to start rating these stations and that my committee and the MTA board should be holding them accountable," he said.
Fair enough. But the MTA claims to already submit reports on station cleanliness, and we can see how effective that's been in holding them accountable for keeping things in tip top shape. It's bad enough to see rats roaming the tracks—or worse, the platforms—not to mention the litter, the loogies, and the often pervading smell of human urine.
But for the most part, these are a given, and without drawing attention to them, they simply exist in the background. They combine to form the texture behind the subway-commuting experience, and while nobody particularly likes them, we're more than able to ignore them.
On the other hand, if you start prominently displaying the letter grade the station has earned (D, F . . . X?), people will have no choice but to think about all the revolting surprises and unknown horrors which lurk down that flight of stairs, and which are completely unavoidable. It's like taking the elephant in the room and putting him on a giant sign that reads, "YOU SHOULD PROBABLY WORRY ABOUT THIS ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM." No, thanks.
If city reps want the MTA to start rating their stations for the sake of the public, I'd suggest rating them for safety rather than cleanliness. Considering we now have fewer trains and more time spent waiting in said stations, that seems like a much better use of resources and focus than counting the rats.
Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I'm always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions.
Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.
The Nina In New York Archives:
Never Look At An Irrelevant Billboard Again
Apartment Hunting Horror Stories
Make That A Quadruple Espresso
