United in grief, Long Island teens start bereavement group by, and for, their peers
ROSLYN, N.Y. - They are wise beyond their years.
Two Long Island teens have started a unique bereavement support group, by and for teenagers.
First, they were helping one another. Now they are helping other young people cope with painful loss.
"Drew was such a happy, energetic, motivated kid," Sydney Hassenbein said. "His passion was tennis, but he really had a passion for anything he did."
"[My father] had a larger than life personality. He was somebody who lived his life to the fullest," Charlie Dubofski said.
They're teens united in grief. The worst day of their lives came just months apart.
A year ago, Dubofski's father Ned died in a car crash. Three months later, Hassenbein's brother Drew, one of two young tennis stars, was killed by an alleged drunk and drugged driver.
Dubofksi, from Jericho High School, reached out to Hassenbein, from Roslyn, to offer understanding.
"Obviously, your typical teenager isn't experiencing this. So I felt grateful that I had her to connect with and talk through our grief together," Hassenbein said.
They decided to channel their sorrow into service.
"We realized, like, wow, us connecting could really help each other. So let's take this opportunity to help other kids who are grieving out there too," Hassenbein said.
That's how they started the HERO Project.
"My dad was my hero," Dubofski said. "We are here to honor our heroes... empathize with each other... remember them... and move onward is the goal."
They brought the idea of a bereavement support group for and by teens to the Sid Jacobson JCC. Now they meet once a month to mend broken hearts, sharing what helps them cope.
"Sometimes I like to write to Drew, or talk to Drew, or send a text to Drew to feel that I still have a connection with him," Hassenbein said. "Listening to music is really helpful."
"I also look at pictures all the time, ir videos," Dubofski said. "It's just nice to hear his voice."
Social workers sit in on the sessions, and are amazed.
"Charlie and Sydney are so incredible. They are dealing with their own tragedies, yet they are finding the strength and the courage to show up and support their peers," social worker Amanda Foglietta said.
From helping each other to helping other teens, it's now helping themselves live onward.
"You can't change the past, but you could try to change your life, and others' lives in positive ways by just learning from such a terrible tragedy and situation and almost changing the world and your purpose," Hassenbein said.
"You can change the future... and live on for your hero's legacy," Dubofski said.
Loss is made more bearable with a friend by your side.
The HERO group meets monthly and is open to teens from anywhere who have suffered a loss, and their friends. The next session is Sunday, March 10.
