Hurley's Picks: Tom Brady beating Cowboys would be very, very funny

BOSTON -- Can we be frank for a moment? OK, good.

This year's picks ... they were OK. Fine. Mediocre. I'll be up-front and open about that. After a great 2021, we hit a season-long stretch of mediocrity here in 2022. It happens.

That's not the whole story, though. Because things got pretty bad at the end. I'm not perfect, OK? These. Things. Happen.

I'll just say this: The season is long. Too long. And that's how a 107-110-7 record after Week 15 can turn into a 125-138-8 by season's end. 

And that's all I'll say about that. It's playoff time. Nobody cares about the regular season if you go 13-0 in the playoffs. And that's *exactly what we're going to do here this month.

*OK, it's what we will try to do.

(Home team in CAPS; Thursday lines)

SAN FRANCISCO (-9.5) over Seattle
Tough start to the picks, to be honest, when you have to pick a Brock Purdy-led team to win by double-dijjies in a matchup of divisional foes meeting for the third time of the year and second time in a month -- especially when the previous meeting was only an eight-point win, thanks to the ol' backdoor cover from the Seahawks.

But that Brock Purdy-led team has dropped 37, 37, and 38 points over the last three weeks. Just look at this hot nonsense.

I think the big loser in the Rise Of Purdy is Jimmy Garoppolo. But that's neither here nor there.

Awesome season for the Seahawks, nobody saw it coming, but it ran out of steam a month ago and it's set to expire in rather unremarkable fashion this weekend.

JACKSONVILLE (+2.5) over Los Angeles Chargers
The mighty Jaguars of Jacksonville are GETTING 2.5 points on their home field? The disrespect!

I know the Chargers are big into the disrespect card this week ...

... but the reality is, I don't think the Chargers are in any position to be gloating. They had a nightmarish Week 18 for no good reason, and they beat three spiraling teams in the three weeks prior to make the postseason. Their strength of victory is an abysmal .341, as they went 1-5 against teams with a winning record.

I don't know what they did to earn road favorite status in a playoff game, to be quite honest.

BUFFALO (-13) over Miami
Unfortunately, I can't create the scenario where the Dolphins surprise everyone and turn in a wildly competitive game against the Bills. If Tua was healthy, I could probably do it. But Skyler Thompson is just such a non-entity at this level right now that we can't even have fun with this one.

It's too bad. The Dolphins haven't won a playoff game since Dec. 30, 2000. They might have had a chance this year if not for some seriously frightening concussion issues for Tua.

New York Giants (+3) over MINNESOTA
In the name of the father, the son, and of Brian Daboll, those of us who rode the Giants every single week this season saw great returns. The Giants went an absolutely absurd 13-4 against the spread this season. It was a damn-near guarantee.

That being said, I have some real pause about this one. I do. It's a tiny little spread. The oddsmakers know that the Vikings aren't really that good. They're just good enough. And while I do believe Daboll's team has the spunk and fire to actually win this game, I also know what an unstoppable force Justin Jefferson can be, and I can easily envision a game-breaking touchdown putting the game out of reach in the fourth quarter.

It's stressful. But we didn't come this far just to come this far. Sometimes, you've got to stick with what works. And picking the New York Giants just works.

CINCINNATI (-9.5) over Baltimore
This would be more fun if the Ravens had a healthy quarterback, maybe. But we just did this a week ago. It stunk. It will stink again. Boring. Early bedtime for football fans on Sunday night.

Dallas (-2.5) over TAMPA BAY
Man, it would be really, really, really funny to see the Cowboys lose this one. For whatever reason you choose, it could be so funny.

For me, it was just that atrocious ending to last year's postseason game for Dallas, combined with Mike McCarthy's dismissive explanation for how and why it happened. It would just tickle me to see them end their very good year by losing in prime time during wild card weekend.

But the sad reality is that the Buccaneers are just no good. They're just not. We can get distracted by Tom Brady, and we can say things like "ohhhh ya never want to run into Tom Brady in the playoffs" or "Tom Brady is 7-0 against the Cowboys in his career," but the Bucs just aren't good. Their O-line? Not good. Their defense? Not good. Their head coach? Not good.

I do leave open the possibility that Brady and Co. pull off some spectacular comeback and make this one a memorable game. But we must also remember that even the mighty Tom Brady has gone one-and-done in the playoffs three times before, and in two of those occasions (2009, 2019) it was evident that Brady is unable to make a bad team good. He's able to make a good team great and he's able to make a great team dominant, but he's not a miracle worker.

And so, we must sadly say that the Cowboys will beat the bad Buccaneers, robbing us all of a good old-fashioned comedy show on Monday night.

(In this case ... we wouldn't hate being wrong. Like if we had to take an L this week, let's hope it comes on Monday night. For comedy's sake.)

Regular season prior to Week 16, aka when it REALLY MATTERS, you know: 107-110-7
Final three weeks of the season, who cares, not important: 18-28-1

You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.