Jim Gaffigan: When will it be safe to retire from parenting?
It's a fact: The retirement age keeps going up.
Retirement doesn't really appeal to me. I love my job. Well, my jobs.
I may be a workaholic. I do love what I do for a living, but if I'm honest, being home with my children feels more like "work" than my actual work. I love my kids. I do! But parenting is not relaxing.
You know how you feel really drained after a tough week? I never feel that way after a week of doing stand-up.
Following a family trip, I'm so tired I can barely walk. As any parent of a teenager will tell you, sometimes being at work is the most relaxing part of the day.
I have five children aged 12 to 20, and when I'm home with them, I feel like I'm in a psych ward. I find myself mumbling. Suddenly my shoelaces are missing.
One could draw the conclusion that teenagers are the reason the retirement age keeps going up.
After all, people are starting families later in life. I understand some folks may need to work longer to save enough for retirement. It also may take some people until a later age to get that nice pension.
Those are facts.
Another fact is by the time you reach 65 or 70, your children no longer live with you. In a way, it's finally safe to go home.
Maybe I will retire... I just gotta get rid of those kids.
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Story produced by Lucie Kirk. Editor: Karen Brenner.
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