Jim Gaffigan on what's wrong with 2020
The "Sunday Morning" contributor can't get behind the New Year:
Next week is going to be 2020? That can't be right?
The year is going to be 2020?
And everyone is like, "Okay, next year is 2020. That makes sense."
No! It can't be 2020.
What are we, "The Jetsons"?
Okay, fine. I guess it's going to be 2020, but it's weird.
It's already 2020? I'm still writing 1993 on checks.
(Okay, nobody writes checks anymore, but if we were, I'd be writing 1993.)
It's already 2020?
I never felt like I partied like it's 1999.
Well, not enough.
I'm still kind of relieved about that whole Y2K thing.
Whatever was supposed to happen thankfully didn't happen.
To me 9/11 just happened.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
Because to me it was yesterday.
Besides, 2020 is not a year; it's a news show on a different network that was created to compete with "60 Minutes."
(By the way, don't forget to watch "60 Minutes" tonight!)
2020 is not a year.
20-20 means you have a perfect vision.
Which does not describe the current planet, or this country.
If anything, we see less clearly than we used to.
Fake news. Polarization. We only see our point of view.
I've got a solution. Let's call it Twenty-Two-Zero.
You like it, right?
Alright, it's not that great.
Fine! It's going to be 2020. Happy New Year!
Story produced by Sara Kugel and Julie Kracov.
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
- Jim Gaffigan's special, "Quality Time," is available on Amazon Prime
Story produced by Sara Kugel and Julie Kracov.
Commentaries from Jim Gaffigan:
- December sucks
- Jim Gaffigan on his in-laws
- Jeannie's story: Jim Gaffigan on his wife's brain tumor
- On parents going back to school
- A craft beer even Jim Gaffigan would like
- Decaf coffee is un-American
- Cheeseburgers are in "grave danger
- On retiring from being a dad
- Jim Gaffigan on that unavoidable certainty of life: Traffic
- Confessions of a news junkie
- On that topic Jim Gaffigan can't talk about
