As contract talks between Gang Green and the free agent quarterback drag on, here's a look at how Fitzpatrick is spending his days this week while his teammates from last season hit the practice field.
1. Measuring his beard hair
"One more inch and I can start that ZZ Top cover band I've always wanted to start!"
2. Serenading photos of Brandon Marshall and Eric Decker
"And I miss you, like deserts miss the rain!"
3. Reminding people he went to Harvard
We can't blame him.
4. Watching the 'Chewbacca Mom' video
Everyone else on the planet is. Apparently.
5. Working out to 'Sweating to the Oldies'
Hey, the man has to stay in shape. Sure, Richard Simmons' classic VHS tapes are outdated, but Fitz can score them cheap on eBay -- and let's face it, the man needs to pinch pennies because he might have to scrape by on $7 million this season.
for more features.