Nina In New York: Talking Trash With The MTA
A young professional's take on the trials and tribulations of everyday life in New York City.
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By Nina Pajak
To address the issue of littering in subway stations, the MTA is trying a new experiment in which they remove garbage cans in the hopes that people will simply hang on to their garbage until they find a proper receptacle.
Ah.
Hm.
Wait. What?
Oh, I get it. It's a reverse psychology thing. They're all, "you can't throw that out here!" So we'll be like, "well I don't even wanna throw it out. I want to hold on to this sticky ice cream cone/Metro newspaper/empty cup/grease-soaked McDonald's bag for infinity times infinity days or until I get out onto the street."
Kind of like when your mom comes home with a super ugly jacket and she tries to give it to you and you say, "no way, Jose," and she says, "Okay then, your sister wants it," and you say, "Wait! I want to look at it again," and she tells you it's too late you can't have it anymore, and then it becomes the only thing in the world you want and you hate your sister every single time she puts that ugly thing on.
I don't have a sister, but I always wanted one.
Something tells me this may not quite work out the way the MTA envisions it. I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer, but in the sense that it's a horrible idea, I guess you could say I'm skeptical. If people aren't bothered by throwing their trash onto the tracks or the platform when there is a garbage can present, won't they be just as fine with it if there isn't one? They take no note of the trash can either way. But do you know who does take note of the trash can? The people who still use the trash can.
Essentially, there are two groups of people here. There are the preexisting litterers, who don't give a fig where they deposit their garbage. They just basically hold it out and let go, wherever they might be standing. So those people will ostensibly remain unaltered by this experiment. Then there are the good Samaritans who do give a fig and wait responsibly to find a trash bin in which to throw junk. And while those people may very well remain compliant and will simply suffer this inconvenience on behalf of the jerks in Group A, this situation will be taxing to even the staunchest anti-litterer. There are bound to be times when a person is in desperate need of getting rid of a piece of trash (spilled Slushee, fallen sandwich, dirty diaper, dead bug in a tissue, who knows what else?). And that person is going to have no choice but to ditch whatever revolting thing he or she has got wherever possible. So those are exceptions to the rule, but think of the daily traffic in any given subway station, and you've got quite a number of exceptions on your hands. Or your floors. Whichever.
Then I suppose there's another sub-group of people, those who mostly don't want to litter but will do so when presented with an overflowing garbage can and no other alternative. What do you think they'll do with no can at all?
Hang on a tick.
Overflowing garbage cans. Yes, we've got those.
Littering problem. We've got that too.
If we just . . . or what if . . . wait a minute . . . having . . . a . . . thought . . .
Nope, it's gone. I've got no alternative solution. It's obvious the garbage cans must go. I see that clearly now.
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Dear Readers: While I am rarely at a loss for words, I'm always grateful for column ideas. Please feel free to e-mail me your suggestions.
Nina Pajak is a writer and publishing professional living with her husband on the Upper West Side.
The Nina Archives:
Just Give Me The Snickers And Let's Be Done With It
The New Rapture Is All Around Us
Metro-North To Passengers: Shut. Up. Already.
