Keidel's Korner: Family Room

by Jason Keidel

Francisco Rodriguez sauntered back to the bullpen this weekend, his Taliban chic beard shaved from his jaw. But he still terrorizes the Mets, who have handled the closer's galling conduct last week with alarming apathy.

(There will be no "K-Rod" references here. You lose all monikers, handles, and good will when you punch old men)

Jeff Wilpon spat out an 18-word, dismissive missive, and then crouched behind it and squatted under his desk. He made no public remarks, demanded nothing, and thus gave his implicit blessing for the pitcher to go Joe Frazier on the father of his grandchildren.

By being the absent father in this case of domestic violence, Wilpon left Omar Minaya stuttering in the Mets' dugout before a phalanx of reporters. English is not Minaya's strong suit to begin with. (Many Mets fans are still trying to learn what his strong suit really is.)

"I don't regret signing him," Minaya said, when asked if he's sorry he brought Frankie Rodriguez to the team. Of course Minaya regrets it, but he cannot tell us that.

Rodriguez assaulted a relative 25 years his senior at his place of employment, in front of his employer, teammates, and their families – in the Family Room. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Don't you love these cowardly qualifiers? Rodriguez, brooding over not pitching in the prior game, sent a borderline geriatric to the hospital in front of children. Notice Jose Reyes, unable to hide his disgust, can't even look at reporters while discussing the crime? Allegedly.

Then Rodriguez whispered his 96-word apology in front of cameras (not in front of the man he assaulted). Some of his teammates belched the bromides about "being there for him." For who? Will they be there for the victims? Will they be there for Frankie's wife? Her father? What support does Francisco need?

We have become socially and emotionally inverted when it comes to celebrities in general and athletes in particular. Athlete commits crime; team comes to rescue – leaving nameless, faceless, voiceless victims dangling in the lawyer-dominated world of American jurisprudence.

Rodriguez has slowly sketched his reputation as a Hollywood tough guy – fighting those older, slower, and smaller than he. Really, Rodriguez is a punk. Let him pick a brawl with Bernard Hopkins if he really cares to scrap. B-Hop is sufficiently older and has lost a step. I'd pay to watch that, even in the Family Room.

A "pundit" on the SNY Network said Rodriguez will be welcomed back, and that his transgressions don't amount to those of, say, Ben Roethlisberger Correct. Rodriguez was worse. Big Ben was neither arrested nor charged with a crime. To show I'm not a hypocrite, I called for Ben to be cut by my beloved Steelers.

What should happen to Frankie Flowers (that's his new sobriquet)? He should take anger management and then take his act elsewhere. He should never wear a Mets uniform again. But the Mets won't do that, and that's why they're the Mets. And that's why you, their fans, have unknowingly signed a pact of perpetual masochism.

Do you hear that chuckle from the Bronx? Of course not. Your ears are ringing with confusion and contempt.

Feel free to email me: Jakster1@mac.com