Jim Gaffigan: Back to (home) school

Jim Gaffigan: Back to (home) school
Jim Gaffigan: Back to (home) school 02:11

This is normally one of my favorite parts of the year: the end of summer. I can stop applying sunscreen, I can hang up my long-sleeve sunshirt, and I can watch my children prepare to head back to school.

Unfortunately, this year my children won't be physically headed back to school. They'll just still be here … with me, like they have been for the last one hundred years. 

I love them.

Like many parents, my wife and I have struggled over the school question. Do we send our children back for in-person learning and possibly expose them to the coronavirus, or expose others to the coronavirus? Or ... do we not educate them? (Okay, the last part was my suggestion, which my wife didn't like.) 

Of course, the opposite of in-person learning is distance learning. I am sorry to say those words so early on a Sunday. Even hearing the phrase "distance learning" makes me want to drink scotch straight from a bottle.

Okay, fine, I'll do the distance learning again. I'll morph from grumpy parent into personal assistant of my children: 

"Excuse me sir, you have a third grade Zoom in five minutes, and here's your sliced apple snack. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order more scotch."

Welcome back, everyone!

      
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Story produced by Sara Kugel. Editor: Chad Cardin.