What are the benefits of a "sleep divorce"?
ST. PAUL, Minn. – Many struggle to sleep at night, and it's often not their fault.
That's led to a trend called "sleep divorce," in which couples stop sharing a bed.
What are the benefits of sleeping separately? And is this the best solution for couples?
Selling you on the importance of sleep can help make a sale at Elsa's House of Sleep in St. Paul.
"You're more energetic and more focused as you go through the day," said staff member Patrick.
"It can dictate your whole day," added his coworker Ermias.
But even the right mattress might not be enough. Ermias admits that his wife sometimes sleeps diagonally on the bed, taking up extra space. Meanwhile, he snores and needs to use a CPAP machine.
Snoring or worse often leads couples to visit Dr. Ranji Varghese. He's the director of the Minnesota Regional Sleep Disorder Center at Hennepin Healthcare.
"People like to call me a marriage counselor because sometimes when I fix one person's sleep, the relationship gets a whole lot better," Dr. Varghese joked.
When it comes to sleep disorders and how they impact a partner in bed however, there's no jokes there.
"If you're disrupted in your sleep by someone snoring or other conditions in sleep, your sleep might be interrupted by about 50%," he said.
It can lead to a lack of focus, mood swings, and changes in personality.
"Sometimes the partners might feel resentment against the other person," he said.
Are there benefits of sleeping separately?
"I think that if someone is disrupted by a bed partner's sleep difficulties and it causes problems in the relationship, a temporary pause might be OK until the other person gets corrected," said Dr. Varghese.
Having a temporary "sleep divorce" can help avoid all the symptoms of lacking sleep. Not only will it help both partners get a good night's sleep, it could prevent problems in their relationship.
Is a "sleep divorce" the best remedy?
"The real fix is to address the main issue which is the sleep condition, whether it's sleep apnea, restless legs, REM sleep behavior disorder," Dr. Varghese said.
He said the person who is having a disorder needs to trust their partner's assessment since the partner is the one who is awake to witness the disorder. He requests that both are present when an appointment is set at sleep clinics.
Are there benefits to sleeping alongside your partner?
"It's more of a comfort thing I think being able to sleep next to your significant other," said Ermias.
Psychologists said studies have shown that successfully sleeping with your partner can lower anxiety, stress and depression. You could even sleep more soundly than when alone.
"We do have some data, there's some small data from Germany that shows couples that sleep together, they do have longer REM cycles and less uninterrupted REM cycles," said Dr. Varghese.
Sharing the same bed also allows for better intimacy and opportunities for communication.
