St. Joseph flower farmer turns grief into new business and memoir after husband's death
Dr. Liz Fiedler Mergen's husband, Josh, died unexpectedly in December 2020. The day after his funeral, she learned she was pregnant. Now, the nurse practitioner-turned-flower farmer from St. Joseph, Minnesota, has written a memoir about rebuilding her life after his sudden death.
"The last thing we texted each other was, I told him, 'It's too early to tell, but I think I might be pregnant.' He was really excited. And then I never heard from him again," said Fiedler Mergen.
In the days after her husband's death, Fiedler Mergen began journaling to remember moments with him. She said writing became a way to heal.
"Immediately after he passed away, I started journaling. I'm going to want to try to remember some of these things, anything that I could think of with him. Then it just kind of turned into this healing thing," said Fiedler Mergen.
She said her grief made it difficult to look beyond her daughter's due date.
"I did not look past her due date whatsoever. I just had to get to that day and then right after she was born, I was finally able to take a deep breath and say, 'OK, what does life look like?'" said Fiedler Mergen.
She decided to focus on finding joy, even as she grieved.
"I really had to actively, intentionally look for joy. I knew that I couldn't force any happiness, but I could try to force some joy," said Fiedler Mergen.
She leaned into her late husband's family farm, Sunny Mary Meadow, and the flowers she had been growing. As she built her flower business, she said the community rallied around her.
"They ordered a couple hundred bouquets for Easter. It was this huge rally-behind-me moment, and then every year it just kept growing and growing," she said.
This fall, Fiedler Mergen moved her floral work and retail space into a new building on the farm.
Alongside her business, Fiedler Mergen wrote her memoir, "Flowers Bloom Anyway: Rebuilding a Life You Didn't Choose," set to be released in March. She said she hopes the book helps others understand grief.
"To help people see the behind-the-scenes of grieving, and when I start explaining things to people that have never really lost a loved one in terms of bereavement, death, someone died. You know you're grieving the life that you didn't have. You're grieving what was supposed to happen," said Fiedler Mergen.
Fiedler Mergen is now remarried and continues to run the farm for her husband's memory and for their two daughters.
"I'm so fortunate I'm able to continue this farm for him," said Fiedler Mergen.
