The '2014 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog' Is Vicious Perfection
It's a veritable fact that certain companies make San Francisco a bougie capital of the United States.
Williams-Sonoma is a perfect example of one such organization. The nearly 60 year old home store stalwart is also responsible for a slew of other companies. For example, there's Pottery Barn, the lifestyle home retailer that runs the sort of website with a page dedicated solely to holiday-themed bedding running around $150+ and sells shot glasses nestled atop silver airplanes. There's also Rejuvenation, another home store, that sells basic yellow stools with absolutely nothing else interesting going on for nearly $200.
Capitalism, folks.
It appears we're not the only ones to notice. Deadspin has for a few years now worked out their angst toward Williams-Sonoma unapologetic snobbery with their annual "Hater's Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog".
This year's might be the best yet. Let's look at a few perfectly sardonic moments from this year's guide:
Item #1: The $39.95 Croissonuts
The Hater's Guide says:
Just add my favorite filling? HOW? With my croissonut filling pot? Hey, you know what? I'm selling my own cronut knockoff, too. Pay me $80, and I'll come to your house with a bag of flour, and then I'll kick you in the shins. The kick is gluten-free.
Item #2: The $14.95 Gluten-Free Sugar Cookie Mix
The Hater's Guide says:
Gotta win that holiday cookie swap. I'll be damned if Muffy Carrington wins again with those f***ing pecan bars she makes every year. IT'S NOT EVEN A COOKIE. That b***h is gonna burn, thanks to the $16 I spent on this gluten-free sugar cookie mix. It's like a regular sugar cookie, but for p***ies! I'm gonna bake these things up, present them on a tasteful, silver-lined plate, and take that b***h to school.
Item #3: The $9.95 Spoonula
The Hater's Guide says:
Don't fall for BIG SPOONULA's sales pitch. You don't wanna try to ladle soup into a bowl using the world's shallowest spoon. It's like trying to carry a martini glass across a minefield. No, thank you.
Hate-read the whole, brilliant guide here at Deadspin.
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