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Jim Gaffigan: Life in quarantine is like a sitcom

Hi, I'm still here with my wife and five children on quarantine in our New York City apartment. Every morning we wake up, we eat, then we clean, then we argue. Then we eat, we clean, then we argue. Sometimes we'll mix it up and we argue before we eat or clean.

Essentially at this point my wife and I are running a diner.  We make mediocre food for ungrateful recipients, and then we clean up, and we do it again

Sometimes I imagine my family and I are participating in a never-ending episode of that long-running show "Alice."  I would, of course, play Mel, the gruff, grumpy short order cook but you know had a heart of gold. My wife, Jeannie, would play the resilient and strong Alice, who is just trying to keep things going. 

The comedian says living in quarantine with his wife and five kids is like a '70s sitcom - and he's got the title sequence to prove it.  CBS News

My children would play rotating roles. When they are confused or befuddled by a situation, they would play Vera.  If they're really sarcastic or mouthy, they would play Flo. [And believe me, they say things much worse than "Kiss my grits!"] 

Occasionally they're sweet, so they play the role of Alice's son, Tommy. 

Similar to the TV show, we work unrealistic shifts that start early in the morning and seem to end real late at night.  The biggest difference between us and the real show "Alice" is that our episode never ends. 

[Be sure to check out the title sequence of the Gaffigans' sitcom in the video player above!]

Be safe everyone. We're going to get through this. Maybe. 

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Story produced by Sara Kugel. Editor: George Pozderec.

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