Why is it so hard to find a therapist? A Massachusetts woman says the process is "a nightmare."

The CDC says more Americans than ever are seeing a therapist, but the numbers would be even higher if it weren't so hard to find one. Gina M. sent an email to Question Everything and asked, "Why is it so hard to find a therapist?"

The answer to that question starts with all of the people out there like Kate Martin from Needham, Massachusetts. Martin is a single mother who feels she's in a really good place right now.  Therapy helped get her to that place.

"I am a firm believer in therapy, like full stop. There is not a human being alive who wouldn't benefit from it," Martin said.

But Martin doesn't have a therapist. She used to have one.

"She was incredible. Then she stopped taking insurance. So, then she referred me to my next therapist who was also incredible, loved her," Martin said. "Then, after a number of years, she stopped taking insurance and that is when you start looking online and it becomes a nightmare. And I gave up."

Martin gave up because the process was brutal. For a lot of people that process looks the same: you go online, find a list of doctors and then you start to filter the results. Proximity. Gender. In-person. But then, the big ones. You need someone who is taking new patients and most people need a doctor who also takes insurance. Then, you cross your fingers and hope they'll call you back.

But studies show 60% of psychologists don't accept new patients and 34% don't accept insurance, just cash and cards. It takes an average of 48 days to find someone.

Dr. Mark Kinchla is a clinical psychologist in Natick. He loves to work with his patients.

"Watching people change is probably one of the most privileged positions I've ever been in," said Kinchla, who does take insurance.

But dealing with insurance companies takes up lots of his time. He spends hours at his computer or on his phone trying to get reimbursed for claims that were mistakenly denied.

"If I've got three calls that I have to make, I probably have to give myself at least 90 minutes to get one or two of them done," he said. Even after he gets things straightened out, he doesn't get paid quickly. "Absolutely not. I feel like there's a shell game going on," he said.

Since the pandemic, the number of people looking for a therapist has gone up significantly, but the number of therapists hasn't kept pace. Burnout is a problem.

Kinchla says that's why doctors move to cash only. "Other professionals prefer cash model versus the insurance model, and I've really struggled with that because I cut my teeth in my career working in community mental health," Kinchla said. "They can't afford three, four, or five hundred dollars out of their pocket."

Including Kate Martin, who offers a good piece of advice: Don't wait until you are in crisis to start searching. And if you see someone struggling, help them start the process.

"Sometimes it takes somebody who knows you really well to say, like, 'I love you, you're not yourself, and you might need some medication to help get you out of the hole that you're in,'" Martin said. 

If you have a question you'd like us to look into, please email questioneverything@cbsboston.com.