Tracy's Blog: To Go or Not To Go

Sweet nostalgia has once again beckoned me to its breast, comforting me with memories of those formative friendships from days gone by. But this time Facebook doesn't get the credit. This time it's the allure of my 20th college reunion.

Last month my fabulous freshman roommate asked if I intended to go. My terse response: "Hadn't planned on it." I really hadn't. I didn't think I enjoyed the depth of friendship that would warrant an expensive trip to Nashville. Plus, I had only spent 3 years at Vanderbilt University, leaving after my junior year to go work in Japan. Part of me felt I didn't belong at a 20th reunion.

But then I started to dream. Like vivid, fabulous, feel-like-a-kid-again dreams. For several nights in a row, I experienced a series of 'em: our gaggle of girls talking late into the night at the end of Branscomb Hall; fraternity parties with my favorite live band blasting Cameo's "Word Up;" day-long rehearsals with my favorite performing group ever, The Original Cast; football and basketball games...

For several mornings in a row, I woke up with a huge smile across my face, my husband laughing at me.

I soon pulled out my 1987 Vanderbilt yearbook to see if I recognized anyone. I was spellbound, realizing many of the faces were familiar. So I got on-line and couldn't believe the names I saw: former sorority sisters and their boyfriends-turned-husbands.

Memories flooded back.

I've been sifting through my feelings for days now...that maybe, just maybe, my college years really were more meaningful than I'd realized. Perhaps I *need* to go back for closure, to cement the memory of this portion of my life. And part of me wants a do-over. I have some regrets about leaving mid-college to get to work.

Thanks to Facebook, I sent out a few direct messages. I started to hear back from these blasts from the past. My Junior year roommate even called; we laughed and exchanged memories for almost an hour. She convinced me I shouldn't hesitate: with Study Abroad programs, upperclassmen came and went all the time. I belong.

And so, I believe I will attend this 2010 Reunion.

Is this what a person does in her 40's, return to her teens and 20's and savor all she may have missed? All I know is that I truly long to piece together the myriad people and experiences that have helped craft my present. My college years are part of this tapestry, whether good, bad, interrupted or imperfect.

Life is so short. I simply want to cherish every memory, relish every meaningful relationship, and soak in every second...even if only for a weekend.

--Tracy