Rangers World Series Loot
DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) - Let me check...Nope.
Still not over what happened to the Texas Rangers in the World Series a month ago. One strike away. Twice. Worst case of blue balls. Ever.
Be a long time before my baseball heart fully recovers and makes the long trek from St. Louis' Busch Stadium back to the place we call hope. Though I'll be damn if the Rangers aren't already trying to get us excited.
Gone this winter are assistant general manager Thad Levine (likely to the Houston Astros) and special assistant Johnny Narron (to the Milwaukee Brewers), replaced by special assistant Greg Maddux, new closer Joe Nathan and a stack of cash that would make you forget the Rangers actually came up short in the postseason.
While killing time, healing our emotional wounds and counting the days before the March 4 Spring Training opening exhibition against the Kansas City Royals in Surprise, Arizona, let's try this therapeutic trick. For their run to Game 7 of the World Series the Rangers received from Major League a pile of playoff money – $13,751,818.61 to be exact. As voted on by players, the Rangers divvied that money into 47 full shares of $251,515.76, 6.5 partial shares and 19 small cash awards.
Let's not fret over the fact that the Cardinals' pile was larger – $323,169.98 per share – but rather let's activate some checks and balances to ensure the Rangers' playoff bounty is properly allocated.
Calculators. Common sense. Commence...
DESERVED TO WIN
Mike Napoli: $2,000,000
Ian Kinsler: $1,000,000
Josh Hamilton: $500,000
Derek Holland: $500,000
Adrian Beltre: $500,000
Elvis Andrus: $500,000
Michael Young: $366,666
Mitch Moreland: $183,333
Jackie Moore: $183,333
Nolan Ryan: $183,333
Jon Daniels: $183,333
David Murphy: $91,666
Mike Maddux: $77,807
The 2,946,949 Fans Who Attended a Game at Rangers Ballpark in 2011: $2,946,949
MEH
Jim Sundberg: $95
Matt Harrison: $90
Colby Lewis: $75
Mike Adams: $50
Yorvit Torrealba: $50
Endy Chavez: $50
Scott Coolbaugh: $50
Dave Anderson: $50
Alexi Ogando: $25
Craig Gentry: $10
Bryan Dolgin: $5
George Dubya Bush: $.25
&^%$#@*!!!!
C.J. Wilson: $0
Ron Washington: $0
Scott Feldman: $0
Neftali Feliz: $0
Nelson Cruz: $0
Gary Pettis: $0
Esteban German: $0
Mark Lowe: $0
ENTERTAINMENT BONUS
Nuns: $1,000,000
Zonk: $1,000,000
Jim Knox: $100,000
Gina Miller: $75,000
Dana Larson: $75,000
Emily Jones: $75,000
Eric Nadel: $50,000
Chuck Morgan: $50,000
Tom Grieve: $25,000
Dave Barnett: $25,000
Eleno Ornelas: $25,000
Mark McLemore: $25,000
Steve Busby: $25,000
Chunky Kid Who Caught All Those Homers on Greene's Hill: $1,000
Texas Legends Dot Race Guys: $500
Rangers Captain: $12.50
COMPENSATION CASH FOR GETTING SCREWED OVER
Chuck Greenberg: $1,000,000
Shannon Stone Memorial Fund: $1,000,000
Frank and Kacy Platt: $50,000
Josh Lewin: $25,000
REBATE PROGRAM
Tom Hicks: (-$1,000,000)
Koji Uehara: (-$50,000)
John Rhadigan: (-$25,000)
Clubhouse employee that leaked Washington's pre-Game 7 speech: (-$1,000)
Arthur Rhodes: (-$2.50)
