A Valentine's Day fix? One expert says it's not the best day to workout relationship problems

Valentine's Day is Saturday, and if everything in your relationship is going great, it could be a wonderful day...but if things are a little bumpy, is it really the day to solve all those issues?

Truthfully, the answer may not be an outright no, but tread carefully. 

You've bought the candy, the flowers, and a nice card all to go along with a nice dinner, so everything is good now...right? 

"It's not realistic, but I think any attempt is valuable," said licensed clinical social worker David Morris of Cognitive Dynamic Therapy. "Maybe, you could delay Valentine's Day. There's no reason that it has to be on the 14th. Maybe you say, 'Hey, we need a week to sort all of this out, so we can actually have an authentic, genuine experience of our relationship.'"

Morris said that fixing the issues in your relationship takes time, work, and most importantly, listening. 

"Most people often try to like or love somebody the way they want to be liked and loved, but they haven't spent enough time or asked enough questions to figure out how the other person wants to be liked or loved," he explained. 

The approach to the conversation is key. Morris said to use a soft opening, which really means reducing expectations because expectations not met lead to disappointment, and that can lead to unwanted emotions. 

"You can complain, but you don't want to blame," he said. "You want to be able to state what is going on without a lot of judgment." 

Getting back to a better place takes time, so if there's a solid foundation, one bad talk doesn't mean it's over. 

"I think there are many conversations after that that could be successful," Morris said. 

Morris said that we're conditioned by social media, movies, and TV shows to believe that all of our problems are solved in an hour or two, but relationships aren't that easy, and one date, one moment probably won't cut it. 

Be sure to take it at your own pace, and don't convince yourself that it has to be solved immediately just because the calendar says February 14. 

Once you get it figured out, you can then celebrate your valentine on the date of your choosing.