Movie Review: Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

by KYW's Bill Wine

It's about time -- literally, but not figuratively.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is an action-adventure epic set in mythical ancient Persia that's not only about turning back time but that tries to do just that by taking its audience back to an era when we weren't so critical of unabashed popcorn entertainment.

But successfully?  Um, not really.

A beefed-up Jake Gyllenhaal (right) stars as Prince Dastan, the rogue prince of the title who was adopted as a young orphan by the Persian king, whom he is wrongly accused of murdering following an assault on a nearby holy city during a search for (yep!) weapons of mass destruction.

As a fugitive with prodigious acrobatic skills, Dastan reluctantly joins forces with Tamina, a high princess from the conquered city, played by Gemma Atherton, whose stunning beauty distracts onlookers from the barely hidden agenda she carries around with her.

Together, they attempt to safeguard a magical ancient dagger -- a mystical device that can reverse time -- which is a gift from the gods that grants unthinkable power to its possessor.

Meanwhile, Dastan seeks to discover whoever's guilty to demonstrate his own innocence.

Most prominent among the supporting cast are Ben Kingsley, coasting as Dastan's vengeful and manipulative uncle Nizam, and Alfred Molina, providing a welcome bit of comic relief -- pity he couldn't have been more prominent -- as a tax-dodging ostrich wrangler, the connivingly entrepreneurial Sheikh Amar.

Of course, character actors as talented as Kingsley and Molina immersing themselves in this kind of material feels a lot like watching Olympic athletes play hopscotch.  But, hey, it's a living.

The screenplay by Boaz Yakin, Doug Miro, and Carlo Bernard is based on a story by Jordan Mechner, who created the 2003 video game series "Prince of Persia," from which the film emerges.  Like many if not most game-to-film adaptations, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time offers barely-two-dimensional characters traipsing through a monumentally uninvolving storyline.

Watching it isn't unpleasant, it's just removed, like watching over the shoulder of someone playing a video game.

Mike Newell brings an eclectic and impressive directorial resume (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Donnie Brasco, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Pushing Tin) to this three-ring circus, mounting a handsome production, including vigorous action sequences involving swordfighting and parkouring, integrating impressive special effects, and moving things along briskly -- at first.

But ... but. The dialogue is so wooden it gives you splinters, with exposition spelled out by the characters as if for a classroom of distracted fourth graders.

Too much of the action involves childishly preposterous and laughably impossible derring-do.  A promising start eventuates in an empty and yawningly extended climax that unmistakably reveals video game origins as the film rises to the top of the ho-hum charts.

And the material is so superficial, it floats away like an errant balloon almost before it's even digested.  This one will be out of your memory bank by the time you make it to the parking lot.

Producer Jerry Bruckheimer hopes to launch a swashbuckling PG-13 series not unlike his Pirates of the Caribbean, aimed at the family audience and especially sculpted to satisfy youngsters.  He just might, and bully for him.

But despite being easy on the eyes, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time has the dramatic tension of a front-porch game of checkers.

So we'll turn back 2 stars out of 4 for a watchable, forgettable, empty-calorie bonanza, the stylish but severely insubstantial Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The younger you are, the more likely you are to tolerate it and the fewer times you'll glance at your watch and notice just how apt is its subtitle.