Vietnam War veteran from New Jersey returns diary to family of fallen Vietnamese soldier
BERGENFIELD, N.J. -- A local Vietnam veteran recently found himself back in Vietnam to return something he found on the battlefield almost six decades ago.
The item belonged to a North Vietnamese solider, and the sincere search for its owner was reported in a local New Jersey paper, which eventually made news over 8,500 miles away.
Vietnam War veteran Peter Mathews says "that besides having children and being married, that it had to be one of the best days I've had, to return the book."
It took him 56 years and 87 days to return a small book he found on a hill during the Vietnam War -- an eye-catching diary left behind after a bloody battle in Dak To, its pages filled with colorful illustrations, music and poetry.
It was 1967 in South Vietnam. Mathews remembers the hill where he found it, adding it was there that one of their helicopters was shot down.
Mathews, then a sergeant with the 1st Calvary Division, landed on Hill 724 after the bloody battle. His division was ordered to count bodies and look for war documents from the enemy.
He found the diary, wrapped in plastic, in an abandoned backpack. In a split-second decision, he decided to keep it.
When asked why, Mathews says, "I recognized the beauty of it. The handwriting was amazing. And I just thought it was something to really cherish."
He stuffed it in his pocket, adding, "I was also a little bit scared that if somebody else would see it, they told me to turn it in, to be honest."
With only weeks left to serve, his sole focus was survival and getting back home, but his homecoming to New Jersey posed new challenges. Originally from the Netherlands, he was drafted with only a Green Card and was told he had to wait for his U.S. citizenship.
"I got very mad about that, to put it mildly, so I put, I had a couple of medals, I put my uniform, I put everything in a box," Mathews says.
Out of sight, out of mind. He adds, "I had hangover from Vietnam. I was drinking a lot. After that, I was actually homeless for about six weeks. Shortly after that, I met my wife, Christine."
Support groups and resources for Vietnam veterans:
- Vietnam Veterans Of America
- NYC Department of Veterans' Services
- Vietnam Veterans Of America New Jersey State Council
- Facebook: The Military Support Group of New Jersey
They raised children and decades passed. The 100-page diary remained mostly hidden away -- its owner unknown, its writings untranslated.
Until he spotted something familiar at a client's home -- it was a typical Vietnamese hat. Mathews asked the man if he knew someone who could translate the diary, then the writing came to life.
"This is a poem that he wrote, and it tells you about his devotion to Ho Chi Minh, how he adored him, how he loved the Communist Party, how he hated American soldiers, of course," Mathews reads.
Another poem read, "It's a beautiful country. Mountains, birds, singing, waiting for spring but sleeping with a gun."
A few translations offered a few insights, but he still had no idea who it belonged to. It turned out, the answer was there all along. They discovered a page with the owner's name and address, and those of his family as well.
"I knew I was gonna give it back to them, whatever it had to take. I was determined," Mathews said, adding he chokes up at the emotion of the day.
A story of his search appeared in a local online article, which eventually got the attention of the Vietnamese government. Within days, the soldier's family learned of the news.
Mathews remembers, "I got a call. It was about 3 o'clock in the morning to turn on my iPhone, and I could watch them for the first time, they were shown pictures of the book."
Mathews' and his wife were on a plane to Vietnam within a month. News of the diary's return made headlines. Dozens of journalists waited at the airport. The attention caught Mathews by surprise, as did the warm welcome from the surviving sisters and nephew.
Mathews recalls the moment he actually handed the diary over to the owner's family, "like I handed over a cinder block," adding, "It felt light once I gave it to her."
The owner of the diary was Cao Van Tuat, just 21 years old. His body was never recovered. His family was left with nothing to remember him, not even a picture.
Mathews' gift of the diary gave them something more than a memory to hold on to, but still, he said it was hard to let go. He made copies of the pages that fill a binder, and he still looks at them from time to time.
He read another entry about a girlfriend, "how he loved her and how he mentioned he was going to ask for hand when he returned." He says that girlfriend is now 80 years old, but she never married.
Mathews also reflects on the beauty of diary, saying, "How on Earth can a person be a soldier fighting a war in the terrain like that with limited resources and create still, take time out to create something this fascinating and beautiful?"
He says this experience changed him.
"My children are happy because they have read and heard about things they didn't know anything about because of me not talking about it," Mathews said.
Mathews still has dreams about the war and memories he hasn't yet shared, but there are also new memories of his return visit, holding hands with the sister of a soldier once considered the enemy. Time changes perception, and perhaps time, for both families, to heal old wounds of war.
But he says after all of this, he has found some peace, saying, "It's a fairytale ending after all these years."
