NEW YORK (WFAN) -- Mets starter R.A. Dickey's inspirational path to major league success has been widely recorded.
Now the starter is ready to talk about life before pro baseball.
In his upcoming memoir, "Wherever I Wind Up: My Quest for Truth, Authenticity and the Perfect Knuckleball," Dickey writes he was the victim of repeated sexual abuse.
Dickey revealed that he was abused at eight by a 13-year-old female babysitter. Dickey, now 37, said he was "confused and afraid" by the encounter, which happened "four or five more times that summer."
"Each time feels more wicked than the time before," he wrote in an excerpt published by Sports Illustrated. "Every time that I know I'm going back over there, the sweat starts to come back. I sit in the front seat of the car, next to my mother, anxiety surging. I never tell her why I am so afraid. I never tell anyone until I am 31 years old.
"I just keep my terrible secret, keep it all inside, the details of what went on, and the hurt of a little boy who is scared and ashamed and believes he has done something terribly wrong, but doesn't know what that is."
The book, which will be released on March 29, was penned with Wayne Coffey of the New York Daily News.
Dickey also wrote of once being abused by a 17-year-old boy, according to the Daily News. In addition, the paper reported he had thoughts of suicide before the 2006 season, prompted by an extramarital affair.
"I have spent so much of my life running and hiding, and I wasn't going to continue doing that in the book," Dickey told the Daily News. "What would be the point in doing that — perpetuating untruth? It was important to me to tell the truth, to be completely authentic. Sharing the pain I went through is part of the healing for me, a catharsis in many ways."
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