A website apparently belonging tothe Florida woman whose alleged in the Denver area, is filled with references to depression, isolation, suicide and guns. It also includes veiled references to her "plans" and to the Columbine High School shooting, which authorities say Pais was "infatuated" with. Officials said Pais, 18, was found dead in Colorado Wednesday amid a massive manhunt.
The webpage includes scanned pages from a journal that has the name "Sol Pais" on its final page. Authorities have not confirmed that the site belonged to Pais.
The homepage for the site, which is under the name "Dissolved Girl," says, "I want to leave a record of myself before I, well...". The site includes a scanned journal, blog entires and a page of music recommendations. The pages are dated between May 2018 and March 30, 2019.
On page after page, entries describe self-loathing and a hatred of humanity.
"Being alive is f---ing overrated," it says on the first page, above a sketch of a handgun being fired.
"its become a fight to the death, fighting for my sanity, for my morals, for everything I've ever wanted," an entry dated Feb. 1 says; "the last few days have been especially painful and tumultuous, which kickstarted me again to start revising my plans and getting on with them...so i basically spent the first few hours of my birthday cleaning through my belongings in preparation of my death. huh. gotta do what you gotta do."
One entry details a dream "about the future" where the author has a "shotgun." Another says, "I wish I could get a gun by the end of the summer."
The pages are littered with drawings of guns, a knife, the world on fire and a man in a trench coat holding a firearm.
There are some entries about reuniting with an apparent love interest who is never named. "There isn't a doubt in my mind that soon i will be back where i need to be...back home...back with you [E]," one says.
The website also includes blog entries dated between Aug. 11, 2018 and Jan. 15, 2019, which include dark and disturbing material. "i feel like a pot of scolding water on the verge of boiling over... so dangerously close to spilling over.. and what that may cause is yet to be seen and most likely a hazard, to myself and others," the final entry says.
The site's "About Me" page has a picture of a frowning young girl: "i am the face of loneliness and misery, of isolation and misery, of exhaustion and anxiety, of anguish and grace," it says.
The music page has songs and lyrics from bands including Nine Inch Nails, Marilyn Manson and KMFDM.
The bottom of every page on the site says "1999 - the nobodies." The Columbine shooting happened in 1999, and Marilyn Manson has a song called "The Nobodies" that references theattack.
Pais also appeared to have an account on the website Listography, which links to the Dissolved Girl site. "be the best killer you can be," it says. The page includes a "to do" list with five items: self destruct," "burn out," "walk away," "reject apologies" and "fade." The background of the page is an image from the film "Zero Day," which depicts a fictional school shooting inspired by Columbine.*
Authorities said Pais traveled from Miami to Denver on Monday night and bought a pump-action shotgun and ammunition. Denver-area schools, including Columbine, closed Wednesday after police said Pais had made a "credible threat."
Investigators closed in on Pais Wednesday near the Echo Lake Lodge at the base of Mount Evans in Clear Creek County, CBS Denver reported. Officials said she was found dead of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound.
The threats and manhunt came just days before the 20th, which left 13 people dead and ended when the two attackers killed themselves.