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Jim Gaffigan on Super Bowl LV: The GOAT vs. the Kid

Today's Super Bowl will feature a battle between the GOAT and the Kid. Not an actual goat and an actual child. Although, I'd definitely watch that. Particularity if it was one of my kids. (I'd probably root for the goat.)

No, I'm talking about Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes. If you've been in a coma for the past couple decades, you may not know that Tom Brady is considered by many to be the Greatest Of All Time. The GOAT! And Patrick Mahomes is amazing. He was in kindergarten when Tom Brady won his first Super Bowl, so therefore he is the Kid.  Anyway, that is the match-up. The GOAT vs the Kid. 

So, who am I rooting for?

Well, I can't root for Tom Brady. I'm from Indiana, and I still have the scars from witnessing Brady and the Patriots snuff out the dreams of the good, kind Indianapolis Colts year after year.

I can't root for Tom Brady.

Tom Brady is the major reason I've avoided discussing sports with anyone from New England for the last 20 years. And if you've ever met a New England sports fan, you know that's virtually impossible

I can't root for Tom Brady. I'm a New Yorker! I've lived in New York City for 30 years, and one of my favorite New York moments is how my apartment building physically shook from excitement after David Tyree's helmet catch during Super Bowl XLIII. This led to the underdog Giants beating the undefeated Evil Empire of New England!

I can't root for Tom Brady. During just these playoffs, Tom Brady beat a retiring Drew Brees – that's rude! – and then he went on to beat the MVP (and my close personal buddy) Aaron Rodgers. 

Okay, Aaron Rodgers came to one of my shows in Green Bay. But I think he liked it.

I can't root for Tom Brady. Patrick Mahomes is the most exciting player in the NFL. He is the future. The Chiefs have too many weapons. Also, Kansas City has … Kansas City BBQ!

So, I can't root for Tom Brady. But … today I'm rooting for Tom Brady.

He's the underdog! I have to root for the underdog. 

I hate when they turn the bad guy into an empathetic character. They did that in "Game of Thrones" all the time. Anyway, don't tell anyone I'm rooting for Tom Brady. Unless he wins, then I picked right.

Watch Super Bowl LV live on CBS and CBS All, or via the CBS Sports app beginning at 6 p.m. ET.

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Story produced by Julie Kracov. Editor: Lauren Barnello. 

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