Keller @ Large: Not A Legitimate Snow Day

BOSTON (CBS) - You could tell there was several inches of snow in the forecast Sunday afternoon in the supermarket parking lot from the unusually large crowd and the tense undercurrent of needing to get the groceries home before the snow was to start falling, about six or seven hours later.

At least I didn't see anybody hoarding milk, although the crowd in the bread aisle had an edgy demeanor to them.

But that was Sunday, and now here we are, smack in the middle of what I hereby dub the Spring Snowpocalypse of 2016; use #springsnowpocalypse as you share this on Twitter.

And in my usual spirit of public service, I will use the rest of my time to share important tips for surviving this latest hashtag.

First, if the kids have a snow day today, I want to alert parents that you are not obligated to let them go frolic in lieu of attending to their studies.

This is not a legitimate snow day, it's an aberration, like a 75 degree day in January.

The kids should spend today studying, reflecting on their futures, and drinking lots of milk.

Secondly, please, Boston drivers, a reminder – the flag used at races to alert drivers to step on it is green, not white. It is best to reduce speed in the snow, not accelerate in a poorly-conceived effort to dodge the snowflakes on the way to your destination.

Finally, try to keep this #springsnowpocalypse in perspective.

It's spring.

The ground is warm, the sun is high, there's more daylight.

Not only will all this be a searing but distant memory by Thursday, life will return to normal within hours.

And somewhere within the sound of my voice, someone will have to figure out what they're going to do with all that milk they bought.