Parents, phones, and privacy, one Pittsburgh psychiatrist recommends setting limits for kids
The broiling controversy over social media websites is leaving parents in a quandary. While the sites and apps are part of youth culture, they also carry risk.
Parents find themselves stuck in the middle of wanting to keep their children safe but simultaneously allow them to be kids - all the while battling algorithms designed to suck them in.
Whether it's TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, or Facebook, these apps have become part of everyday life, and some parents may not want to be seen as a stick in the mud by coming down with an iron fist of prohibition.
"I really think that it's important for parents to be aware of how big of a problem this is and [how to] be able to say, 'No, I don't want you to do that,'" said Allegheny Health Network child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr. Gary Swanson.
Dr. Swanson said you absolutely should embrace your compulsion to protect, not just because you have to manage the temptation of social media, but the algorithms that are designed to get people stuck.
"It's a sticky trap that's designed to pull you in and make it harder to get out," Dr. Swanson said.
Parents should expect objections and claims of distrust, but Dr. Swanson said to remember who is paying for the device.
"As a result, you're entitled to everything that's on it," he said. "That means you get to monitor it, watch it, and review it at any point in time."
However, that review of the device can build trust.
"You give them little bits and see how they manage it," Dr. Swanson explained. "If you can see they can manage a little, you can give them a little bit more."
Dr. Swanson does caution parents: it's not an occasional review; it's going to be pretty much all the time.
"You're going to be able to check their history, you're going to watch what they do," he said. "What I see with kids is once they're on it, it builds and builds and builds."
He said parents should try to keep device usage in public view, not behind closed doors in a bedroom. Also, be sure to set the limits, because when a child knows they only have limited time, they're more judicious of what they get into.
Finding the balance is crucial, because if parents watch like a hawk, the kids will naturally say they want privacy. So, Dr. Swanson said, simply respond with "I understand that's what you want, and you can do that when you're older."
Finally, Dr. Swanson said the biggest consideration for parents is to decide whether you want them to have a device that goes online in the first place.
