Your Products are a Scam -- Or are They?
If only every scam was this obvious: In Michigan's Upper Peninsula, some elderly residents are getting calls claiming to be from their grandchildren, asking for money.
One "grandson" said he was caught fishing without a license in Canada and needed to pay a $3,000 fine. The money was quickly wired across the border. Then the victims were taken again after the "relative" phoned back to say alcohol and drugs were found when his boat was searched, and he needed $30,000 to post bond to get out of a Canadian jail.
Michigan's Better Business Bureau issued a warning about the swindle earlier this month.
Businesses are more sophisticated than that, but not always by much. They don't have to be. After all, who's to say what is â€" and isn't â€" a "deceptively" marketed product?
I've been I asked my readers to submit their stories of being duped by companies, and two of the nominations illustrate my point. They suggest that even when customers, lawmakers or regulators step in and claim something is misleading, a business can easily respond with a slick and completely plausible answer that might prevail in the court of public opinion.
The first nomination: a product called Ancestor Bands, a series of bracelets available online that claim to help you connect to your dead relatives. No, seriously.
"We are all uniquely connected to our ancestors genetically," the site says. "The bands you see here will help you tap into the proper frequencies that your Ancestors transmit throughout the Cosmos. They are desperately trying to connect with you and impart their Newfound Universal knowledge of the Universe." The bands, it claims, will increase your mental power, physical strength, and reverse the effects of aging. All for the low price of $19.99!
As a natural skeptic, my first inclination is to laugh out loud at this apparent scam, or anyone who would fall for it. But on reflection, I don't know how ridiculous it is.
I mean, if you could conclusively disprove these bands allow you communicate with your ancestors, you'd also debunk half the word's organized religions. Who am I to say the bands won't work for someone? The Federal Trade Commission might quibble with its claims to increase your mental power and physical strength â€" and rightfully so.
Dead ancestors, however, are above the pay grade of this consumer advocate.
Nomination number two comes from a company called SmartMouth, which is billed as a revolutionary mouthwash that provides 12 hours of fresh breath.
"With SmartMouth Mouthwash, one rinse in the morning and you'll have all day fresh breath," its website claims. "One rinse at night and you can wake up with fresh breath. No more morning breath!"
Bogus? That was my first thought, too. But the company sent me a product sample and asked me to try it. Unlike Ancestor Bands, there's some science behind SmartMouth. It claims to have a patented zinc-ion technology that freshens your breath and prevents new bad breath from forming.
The national advertising division of the Better Business Bureau found that SmartMouth provided a "reasonable basis" for its claims. And while I agree that the product works different than other mouthwashes, and that it lasts longer, I would also not recommend that anyone rely exclusively on a mouthwash for 12 hours of fresh breath â€" even this one.
I base that on my own experience using the product. Nothing â€" and I really mean nothing â€" can overpower a generous portion of overspiced Italian food that's rich in garlic. It's the ultimate anti-mouthwash.
Point is, you can find a true believer who say his watch helps him talk with his dead grandfather, just as you can find a true skeptic who thinks the newest mouthwash is no better than Listerine. It's all a matter of perspective.
Do you create advertising campaigns that are heavy on hyperbole but light on detail, and that escape the scrutiny of regulators?
Or does this gap make your all the more mindful of the need to be open, transparent and honest with your customers?
Christopher Elliott is a consumer advocate, syndicated columnist and curator of the On Your Side wiki. He also covers customer service for the Mint.com blog. You can follow Elliott on Twitter, Facebook or his personal blog, Elliott.org or email him directly.
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