When the Harrassment of Others Becomes Your Problem

One of my colleagues is an attractive young female, and many of the younger guys make inappropriate comments toward her. She doesn't seem bothered by them - I would venture to say that she encourages it - but it bothers me. Is it my place to report this? Where's the line?

How you handle this depends a lot on your company’s harassment policy. If the policy requires that all incidents of harassment be reported to human resources -- regardless of whether you are the victim or not -- then the case is closed. “If the problem were to escalate to the point where the victim files a claim, then your failure to report the problem could lead to your termination and strip away your company’s protection under the law,” according to James Becker, a Memphis attorney who focuses on employment law.

If your company’s policy is less clear, then you need to consider the situation selfishly. Your goal is to make the comments stop, but being a whistle-blower will probably give you a negative reputation as someone who meddles in other people’s business. As reader gaylv pointed out in a comment on a previous column, “we only pay lip service to honesty and integrity in the workplace” and, ultimately, “snitching will hurt you.”

You need to resolve the situation while protecting your reputation. The best way to do this is to address those involved in a one-on-one situation. Let them know that while their behavior may seem harmless, it bothers you and you want it to stop without having to report the problem to human resources. By placing the threat of consequences on the table, you'll motivate your colleagues to think twice before engaging in frat-boy behavior.If the incidents continue, then you should report the problem with a clear conscience, knowing that you gave fair warning. Failure to do so would violate an even more important policy: your own code of ethics.

Have a workplace-ethics question? Ask it here.