What To Give For Valentine's Day
This week's commentary by 60 Minutes II Columnist Bill Geist.
Valentine's Day looms -- and it's an upsetting and confusing holiday for men, who are all essentially unromantic clods.
We, the romantically impaired, know that we have to buy gifts for our valentines. But what?
The papers are chock full of gift ideas. Diamonds -- one of these sells for a million dollars. Furs. How about a Lexus? Pretty costly stuff.
Not surprisingly, many newspapers suggest you buy an ad telling your loved one how much you love him or her -- for as little as $12.95. The little cupid's $20 extra.
You can put a Valentine's Day greeting to your pet in the New York Daily News for $48. Unfortunately, my cats read The Wall Street Journal.
Coupons are good, but be careful with laser hair removal and Jenny Craig gift certificates. She might think, or realize, you're sending her a message.
Advertisers also know that men are unromantic and try to tell us that giving your lover more rollover minutes on her cell phone is a romantic idea.
Over the years, I've seen Valentine's Day ads reading: "Say Valentine, be mine with a GE steam iron" … "Say it with pizza" … "Nothing says I love you like a new multi-cycle washer."
Another ad disagreed, claiming: "Nothing says I love you like our succulent veal parmigiana."
Not to mention: "Surprise your Valentine with Monroe shock absorbers." What valentine would not be surprised?
Flowers are safe. But if you grab a bouquet at the food store on the way home, remember to remove the produce section sticker. It takes away.
Valentine's Day is on Saturday, so you might want to take that special someone out to dinner. But on this special day, why not take her inside, rather than using the drive-thru.
Maybe it's best to stick with the tried and true -- like the biggest box of chocolates you can find. But you might want to ask yourself, "Will I still want her to be my Valentine after she's eaten $150 worth of candy?"