I'm setting up a web design website with this sales message: "We are the newest and most innovative web design company. From social media landing pages to full-blown e-commerce websites, we have a product to suit your budget and which can evolve as your business grows and changes. From a simple business card site at to a multi-page site, we can get you online, with a unique, stylish website according to YOUR specification YOUR timescales and at prices to suit YOUR pocket."My response:
Wow, that's a lot of words to say something that should be self evident. Consider: in this case the buyer is actually looking at the product being sold... a website that you created. So all you need to say is:
Like this site? We can build you one just as nice for less than you'd think.Let's face it, if they don't like your site, they're not going to hire you, regardless of whatever verbiage you throw at them.
"Our company does hot air balloon marketing and clients who have used our services generated hundreds of millions of impressions and received extensive media exposure using our ten story tall hot air balloons. If you're interested go to [websitename]"My response:
I'm confused about why you are screwing around with sales pitches and websites. The way to market this is to put up huge balloons in a highly-visible places with "Your Company Name Here" on it and a phone number.
When people call (and if this kind of advertising works, they will), you've already shown them that it works. So the service essentially sells itself.
The lesson here is that products and services intended to generate sales generally do NOT need a sales pitch. They must, in fact, make the case for their own usefulness based upon how well they work with the target customer base.
This is why, incidentally, that so many sales trainers are top-notch salespeople. They have to be, because anybody who's going to buy from them is going to expect them to be talented at selling.
While I was writing this, I was reminded of the time when my ex-wife and I had an 8 hour layover in Amsterdam and ended up sightseeing in the red light district (pictured). In that part of town, the prostitutes famously stand in picture windows, wearing lingerie. It's a very WYSIWYG environment.
The way some marketing people think, these girls would be better off if they spouted sales pitches promising "excellent, state-of-the-art service." Somehow, I'm not entirely sure it would add much to their sales conversion rate.