When Uno the Beagle won "Best of Show" at last year's Westminster Dog Show, I though it couldn't get any better than that. Finally: A top dog that looked like a dog!
Well, it got better.
This year the oldest dog in the show, a 10-year-old Sussex Spaniel named Stump, walked off with the top prize.
You can see why I would identify with the oldest dog in the show. They said in human years, Stump would be 70 - which means if I were a dog I'd be turning 504 this month.
When you're 504, people have a right to ask if you've learned anything, and the answer is yes - mainly, that the older you get, the more you have to take care of yourself.
But here's my advice: Go to the doctor, do what the doctor says, and discuss your health with no one else because no one else cares.
Especially if it's about your teeth.
I thought friends would be fascinated to hear about my dental implant. They weren't. So I told a colleague, "If I bring up my teeth, just say 'There's something on your ear, which will be the reminder to talk about something else."
Sure enough, friends who disappeared in recent weeks started drifting back - at least some of them; maybe the rest haven't heard. If you see any of them, tell them I've changed the subject.
When you're 504 years old, you need ALL your friends.