'Essential Manners For Men'

You would expect Peter Post, the great-grandson of Emily Post, to know a thing or two about good manners. But he felt that plenty of other men could use a refresher course, so he wrote a new book called "Essential Manners For Men."

He tells The Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen, there were several reasons that he wrote the book.

He says, "Men have questions, first of all. They may not be willing to admit it, but they have questions. They make mistakes, and the problem is, they don't learn the same way that women learn. So a book for men about etiquette by a man is really important to get the information -- something that's fun to read, something that's easy to read, and something easy to approach. So that's what I did. Finally, most etiquette books don't tell you the why and men will never do anything if you don't tell them why."

Post believes that many people don't understand the reason for etiquette and manners. He says, "I could lead a group of people and have them thinking, 'what a great guy he is, I really like being with him,' I'd feel great and wonderful. That is the real goal."

He notes etiquette boils down to consideration, respect and honesty. "If we make our choices in how we deal with people in our lives with those three principles...of etiquette, you are going to make good choices in almost any situation... The reason we don't is we usually freeze, because we're not sure what to do."

Post conducted a survey. asking women what is the No. 1 mistake men make and found it is table manners. Post says, "It crosses the world of work, social life, daily life. Table manners are a huge mistake and if I had to go to one table manner for guys to watch out for that grosses everybody out, chew with your mouth closed!"

Elbows on the table, however, he says is acceptable. He explains, "The thing that elbows on the table is people think of it as 'I'm going to sit there with my elbows and shovel the food in my mouth.' That's not a very pleasant way to watch somebody do something. If I put my elbows on the table and lean forward and talk to you, I'm really expressing a lot of interest in you and that's perfectly fine."

An interesting tip is to pass food to the right. He says, "If you're going to start the bread basket going, start it and pass it to the person on your right. It's a convention that helps us if we have two or three things going, one go from the left or to the right, you create a logjam."

Besides table manners, Post tackles etiquette at the gym. Post says men need to learn the difference between looking and staring. Staring, he says, is when your focus shifts from what you are doing and if you are with someone, it brings that someone down, because your focus is somewhere else. He says, "If I notice the person and I come back to you, then I'm just looking. Don't lose your focus with the person you're with."

Behavior at sporting events is another topic he covers. He notes spectators in the stands often yell and curse the opposing team, but Post says to consider this: "You never know who is going to be sitting in the stands near you that you might meet soon and that person could see this horrendously horrible behavior and say, 'I don't want to do business with that person' or, 'Yuck! What a terrible guy. I'd never go out with him.' Not the way to present yourself in public. So cut out the bad stuff and enjoy your team and yell to your heart's content but do it positively."

As for who should get the check when men go out to dinner with other couples, Post says, "It depends on the situation. Ideally, communicate about it beforehand and say, 'Maybe tonight we'll split the bill separately or differently. I'm just going to have a Coke and I hope you understand.' Do it at the beginning and try not to do it when the bill arrives. That's when everybody gets confused."