Best Tip for High School Grads: Don't Go to College Yet

Have you ever seen parents play the college-bound conversation game? It's a simple game where parents ask each other where their kids are planning to go to school. (It's also often self-congratulatory and competitive, with the parents who have a child going to a "great" school considering themselves to be the "winners.")

The game gets awkward when one parent says, "Oh, Jimmy isn't sure what he wants to do... so he's going to take a year off to work." Other parents smile and say, "Oh, that sounds like a great idea," while secretly thinking, "Oh, that's so sad... I wonder where they went wrong?"

Why do most people think taking a year off to work before starting college is a mistake -- or even a sign of failure?

Probably because education is like a runaway train and jumping off seems impossible. In high school we focus on grades, test scores, clubs, and achievements in order to get into right college. In college we work hard to set ourselves up for a career. We're constantly urged to stay focused, stay on track, keep "moving forward"...

Maybe that's not such a smart approach. Here are five reasons your son or daughter should take a year off after high school to work -- notice I said work, not goof off -- before starting college:

• They have no idea what they want to do. What were your career plans when you were 18? Better yet, are you working in the same field as your college major? Most of us aren't. Shoot, many people in their 30s and 40s still haven't figured out what they want to do. Working for a year -- in any job -- provides a broader perspective about work, careers, and life.
• They break away from their friends. Are you still close to your high school friends? Probably not. Yet at one time your peer group made a tremendous impact on the decisions you made and the beliefs you held, often more so than your parents. Cutting old ties makes room for new perspectives and new influences, especially when...
• They interact with a new group of people. I worked my way through college, holding the same full-time job for four years. I learned a lot more about life from my work friends than from my college friends. Looking back, I realize I got the best of both worlds: I was able to enjoy the "college experience" (which, when you think about it, is like a fantasy world), plus I was exposed to the real-world concerns, issues, and challenges faced by people living in the real world. It's hard to worry about missing a party when a friend is worried about missing his rent payment.
• They better connect the theoretical concept of a rewarding career with the practicalities of making a living. Ever had the real-world math conversation with your kids? You know, the one where you list all the real-life expenses like rent, car payment, utilities, food... and show how they'll have about $50 a week left over for having fun? Careers are interesting; making a living is all-important. Working for a year provides an invaluable real-life education in practicality.
• They take the unconventional path. As a culture we celebrate those who take unconventional paths to success -- and then, like everyone else, we make sure our kids head right off to college. Want to teach your kids there are infinite roads that lead to happiness? Encourage them to be different. Let them step off the eduction train to learn a little more about themselves. They'll start college a little wiser, a little more worldly, and a lot more likely to know what they hope to become -- or at the very least, with a better understanding of what they don't want to do with their working lives.

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