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As the Fall Dating Season (huh? -Ed.) ramps up, I can't help but feel that 2012 is off to an ... let's say, "atypical" start. So open the door, for your Mystery Date:

Fort Walton Beach, Florida:  an unnamed woman who doesn't like her son's choice in girlfriends, hits her in the head with a Bible. (For the record, she apparently winged the Bible in, from 10-15 feet: that's pretty good aim.)

Mapleton, Utah: police arrest a man accused of assault on a woman, after chasing him down. He claims his invisibility makes him unstoppable.  Apparently, he was just visible enough to be cuffed and transported.

Vero Beach, Florida:  deputies investigate a 24-year-old woman on suspicion of attacking her bf with a golf club. It was a 6-iron. This is odd, because 6-irons typically are used only for approach shots. 

And from our overseas bureau:

Belgium: "Mr. Penguin" still has plenty of living to do, but when he dies, he knows how he wants to go: dressed as a penguin, in a coffin-decorated casket, at the bottom of the sea, close to where penguins swim. I mention all this, because apparently his wife has left him, putting him back on the market. At 79.