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Is your child addicted to their phone? Here's what you can do.

How parents can make sure their children are making safe screen time choices
How parents can make sure their children are making safe screen time choices 08:42

BOSTON – Say you're the parent of a teenager who is constantly on his or her phone, won't interact with the family, seems isolated and depressed. You're worried about online bullying, body image, predators, and more. Even mild attempts to restrict his or her phone use touches off a huge backlash. What do you do?

"The first thing is stop playing the police and start supporting success," Dr. Michael Rich of Boston Children's Hospital, founder of the Digital Wellness Lab, told WBZ-TV.

"The Mediatrician's Guide"

Rich is author of the new book "The Mediatrician's Guide: A Joyful Approach to Raising Healthy, Smart, Kind Kids in a Screen-Saturated World."

"This is not about fighting against the phone or the internet so much as it's about helping to integrate those very powerful tools into the life of young people in ways that help them be healthier and smarter and kinder to each other, rather than basically 'The Lord of the Flies' that's happening online," Rich said.

Rich said too many parents are avoiding their responsibility to guide kids through the issues raised by social media and the online universe.

"They feel that that space is alien to them, that the kids own that space. They need to step in and learn with the kids and have it be present in their lives, rather than trying to exclude it, which is really impossible," he said.

Monitoring kids' screen time

To help both the teens and younger kids in your life, Rich said pay attention to the "five Ms."

"Model the behavior with screens that you want to see in your child. So put down your data device. One of the things I ask all kids once their parents are out of the room is, 'What could your parents do better?' And one of the first things out of most of their mouths is, 'Pay more attention to me,'" Rich said. "When you put a phone down, you can really enjoy your children. You're not off in some other place. They want you the parent to spend more time with them."

Rich said the second "M" is "mentor."

"The second M is mentor the use of these powerful devices with your child. Don't just hand them to them for a reward, but sit down next to them and figure out the smartphone, how to use it, how not to use it, and with them, decide what the consequences should be," Rich said. "Be part of their digital lives right from the get go, and also have their usernames and passwords so they can monitor the children."

"The 5 Ms"

The final three Ms are measuring, memories and mastery.

"One of the interesting things is that the way we use screens now, we cannot measure our screen time, because we move seamlessly in and out of these two environments, the physical and the screen. And kids do as well. But when they are online, they don't remember what they do, or they don't have memories of this," Rich said. "What they have memories of is interpersonal relationships, the walk in the woods with Grandpa, or kicking a soccer ball around the backyard, or trying to cook a meal together and making a mess of it. These are the things that make the memories of childhood and a family. And the final one is mastery of these powerful devices, which means we use them effectively and in empathetic and kind ways, and then we put them down."

Rich urged parents not to use devices as an "electronic pacifier" for young children.

"Don't give them as a reward for good behavior, or give them to shut them up when throwing a tantrum," Rich said. "A smartphone is over a million times more powerful than the computer that landed us on the moon. Think about that, and that's in our kids pockets, and it is 99% distraction. So give them that tool when they need the tool, when you feel they can handle it responsibly and with respect for themselves and others, and mentor them through it."

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