Drunken Red Sox Recap: Fenway Fan Fights Adam Jones, Nolan Reimold (In His Own Mind)
"It was a pretty good game, everything was going our way, and we decided to troll ... what's his name? Reiner-heim!"
And so, the story of some intoxicated fans at Fenway Park began.
Intern Nick hit the streets of the Fenway area after a Red Sox-Orioles game, and he encountered some fans who had a fantastical tale about fighting the Baltimore Orioles. Or something.
According to the fan, Nolan Reimold pointed at the fan directly and said, "You."
Fighting words.
The fan's response?
"Yo, man. I don't like you either."
Then, the fan told Reimold that he had a larger than average belly button.
It was on.
Hearing that such a horrific insult had been levied at his teammate, Adam Jones stepped in.
"[Jones] pointed to his biceps," the fan said. "I threw out a bicep. And then he started to snitch to one of the field maintenance employees."
Aw, man. Snitches get stitches.
The story goes on: "So Jones came over, he flipped us off and blew a kiss, right? So I mean, we're already fired up, so he comes up and he comes and flips us off. So I get real animated, so I start losing my [expletive]. Like, I'm not one for control, so I start flailing around like a [expletive] peacock, make myself known by everybody, so they took about 37 [expletive] seconds for someone to tap me on my shoulder to kick me out. It's a bunch of bull [expletive]."
And, according to the fan, that wasn't enough for Jones!
"That [expletive]," the fan said, "he looked up and what'd he say? He goes, 'Meet me outside.'"
As Rich put it, "This is like the guy who picks a fight with a refrigerator. 'It's laughing at me!'"
Listen to the full story, which includes the most predictable "FREE TOM BRADY" chant of all time, below:
