GAYLE KING:
00:00:00
--Read YourMind-- Proven Habits For Success From theWorld's Greatest Mentalist. We're very happy to say that Oz Pearlman is here live in the studio for your first live interview. And in your book, Oz, you say that you like live TV because it's like choosing your own adventure. Choose your own adventure. I hope this works out for you.
OZ PEARLMAN:
00:00:16
Let's do it. Well what's it all about in life if we get down to brass tacks family, friends the thing that mean the most to you. And so what I like to do is visualize. That's what I do. It's not a magic trick. I read people I don't read minds. Imagine you're having a birthday party.
GAYLE KING:
00:00:30
Yep. See this now. Spontaneous, impulsive, I want them to know you have no idea what's going to happen. And I want you to see in this room people you care about all around the room. Start visualizing right this second, people you see. And imagine, somebody spontaneous just walks up. And you say hello to this person at your party. Just see them right now. Yeah, I see him. And now, you turn to another person. And you see another person. Anybody. She said him, don't give any slips. Don't tell me anything. OK. I see them. Any of these people you saw, I couldn't know. Right? You're just making this up as you go. But suddenly, you feel a tap on the shoulder. And you haven't even turned around and look who it is. But then when you look, you of course you know who it is. Now, watch. Try not to say anything. But in her mind, a name just popped up that she couldn't help it. Tapped you on the shoulder-- and she said him. That was the slip. I know it's a guy. Look this way at me. Think of the first letter of this person's name. All right? Now, she tried. She's seen me before. So I know Gayle. attempted. And then, it's short-- 5, 6, 7-- 5 letters.
NATE BURLESON:
00:01:30
stuff is wild. Dun, dun, dun. Gayle, be honest. You literally could have thought of hundreds of people. Yeah. Very popular, very friendly. There's no way you're getting this. You saw someone. You changed your mind. You saw another person. You change your mind. And then, someone tapped you on the shoulder. It's very clear too. What's his name, this person who tapped you on the shoulder and you just saw it at the moment. Tell us all. Who did you picture? What's his name? You want first and last name? Sure. Barry Diller. Barry Diller. Whoa!
NATE BURLESON:
00:01:58
It's wild, bro. How did you do that? Because I picked something so random. I said, there's no way you're going to get Barry Diller. Did you guys see him write that? I saw him. [OVERLAPPING SPEECH] You want to see the craziest part is that what I caught-- look at that. Nate, what a gentleman. What I caught, all her notes are gone. Her heart is beating. Do you know what I caught? When I said look at people at her party, do you see how Gayle did this? She looked at-- Gayle, do you know what she did at one point? Watch. It's different than looking at someone. You lifted your neck up and looked-- you looked for someone. You were looking for someone who wasn't there, who couldn't be there. Oh, I'm right. I'm right. Somebody-- the name just popped in your head again. Started with an M. Maya Angelou. Am I right? You wish she could have been there. Yes! Yes, yes, yes. I'd written that down earlier. I'd written that down earlier. Maya Angelou. Yes. Because I almost said my mom or my dad, but then I thought he'll guess that. How did you get Maya? Yes. I don't even know what to say.
TONY DOKOUPIL:
00:02:54
I don't know what to say either. I have no reaction here. Because I hadn't told him a name. I thought Barry Diller would be so random that you wouldn't associate me and Barry Diller. No. You wouldn't associate that. But also, just the infinity of parties and get togethers and shindigs-- Gayle doesn't mess around. You don't mess around. Very much so. But hear me out. You're watching this now. And you go, that's amazing. That's entertaining. And I said, there's no way he's going to get it. No way! No way! Gayle challenged me. She goes, you're not getting me. Yes. But how can you use this skill in your life?
GAYLE KING:
00:03:24
I have no idea. Guessing the name of who Gayle King is going to see at her next birthday party? Not as effective. But reading the people around you is going to give you a huge advantage in your life being seen, being heard. I would argue that it is arguably the most important thing is how you connect with others to your future success. That's why I don't understand why you say you don't read minds. you read people. There's no way--
OZ PEARLMAN:
00:03:46
Reading minds is impossible. But there's no way I was giving you a vibe that I'm thinking about Barry Diller. No way.
TONY DOKOUPIL:
00:03:51
OK. All right. So connect this to people at home right now. Absolutely. Have to talk to a boss today, who has to talk to a spouse today, How does it help them in their lives? So I want actionable takeaways. This book was me taking what I've spent 30 years learning to do and distilling things that will help you in your life. How do you approach somebody and become memorable? How do you deepen your bond, feel seen, feel heard with this person? --everything. First impression's everything. I can tell you something so quick and easy that when you approach somebody head on, looking them with two eyes, right away our instincts kick in. You feel tension. You feel nervousness. Versus if I walk up to you at an angle with one eye showing, right? This is the fight or flight. You feel like I have one foot in the door, one foot out the door. If somebody walks up to you in a casual manner like this, you feel more at ease with them. Yeah. Right? Remembering people's names. In the book, I tell about memory is a superpower. Yes, yes. What I have done in my life is made other people feel like they are the star of the show. And the more you can do that with people you meet, learning what makes them tick is what's going to make you shine. But say the name part about listen, reply, repeat. So very quickly is most people forget the name. Listen, repeat, reply. I call it-- You're meeting me for the first time. How could I forget you? Hey, how are you doing? Nate. Nate, is that right? Nate. Is it short for something? Is it Nathan? Well, it's Nathaniel. But everybody calls me Nate. Nate. , got to tell you, I love the suit, Nate. So I've now said his name three times. I've repeated it multiple times. And what it's done-- listen, the first thing we mostly miss We don't actually hear the name because we're too busy thinking, what are we going to say next? Yeah. Right/ The power of listening, never underestimate it. I repeat the name. You have to repeat the name which ingrains it in your brain and then reply. Give a compliment. Ask how it's spelled. Do something that locks it in your brain. You said 85% is all about listening.
OZ PEARLMAN:
00:05:35
I agree with that 100%. It is all about listening. The power of a mentalist can be unlocked by listening. And I show you how to listen more effectively. We ran out of time. But I wanted you to tell me where to get my wife for Christmas. I already know. You already know. I'll tell you. OK. Oz, that was amazing. It was amazing. That was amazing. Gayle's still tripping out. I know. [OVERLAPPING SPEECH] --planet right now.
GAYLE KING:
00:05:53
I actually am. I can't even read that.
TONY DOKOUPIL:
00:05:56
You're going to drive Gayle to drink. This is the end of Gayle. Read YourMindis on sale tomorrow. Get it. Over the course of three decades, he's become an absolute master in how people think, reading them by what they do, how they look. Celebrities, athletes, you name it. The list is viral and long. And he's now out with a new book on how to use the skills that he's developed as a mentalist to make changes in your own life and improvements as well. The book is called Read Your MindProven-- HabitsForSuccess From the World's Greatest Mentalist. And Oz Pearlman joins us now. Great to have you here. Thank you so much. Honor to be here. A lot of what you do is improve the habits and lazy parts of our tendencies.
OZ PEARLMAN:
00:06:41
Sure. Procrastination is something we all struggle with. Me too. How do you get the best of it? So I have a trick that I learned over time because I'm just like you. I am not some superhuman person, some mind reader. These are all learnable skills. I'm not psychic or supernatural, where when I dread doing something. For me, confrontation. If I have a call I don't want to handle, I just keep putting it off in the calendar. And so I learned this trick how to trick my own mind, which is I quantify. I like quantifying things. How do I feel right now? Dread. 1 to 10? Oh, my god, eight. I don't want to do this. So here's what I do. Literally try this today with something you hate doing. Put an alarm for 24 hours from now on your phone that says, how do I feel about x, y, z now? So I decided I feel like an eight now. I force myself to do the thing. I pick up the phone. I don't want to do it. I do the call. I handle the thing I didn't want to do. The next day when that alarm goes off, you've completely forgotten about it. And when I look at it, what's my dread? Oh, my god. I forgot. I feel a one right now. So what's the difference between those two feelings? Time. That's all it is. So if you can fast forward your feelings and know that I will feel better about this in a day, then it's like it's the same way that a kid has to touch a stove. Don't tell your kids to touch a stove. But you have to internalize a feeling at a certain point. So if you're able to see how you feel a day later and realize it's not that big of a deal, I have overcome so much procrastination by doing that. I literally say to myself, I'm going to fast forward. I'm going to feel like I am tomorrow. I'm going to feel fine. I'm going to do it now. I'm sitting here so nervous because we're going to do a trick. But we're not going to do it yet. All day, I've been like-- Yes. But you and your wife have five kids under 10 years old? Five kids under 10, that's the real magic. Forget about this. Yeah, so that. But also, how do you use your mentalist skills to tackle all the craziness of having little kids, toddler tantrums? So a huge amount of that, again, is you want to get inside somebody else's mind and know how they're thinking. And a toddler, head to head, is going to be very obstructive. If you get into a battle of yes-no, they're going to say no. In life, yes or no questions are going to be the worst thing in any conversation. The best way to open somebody up is to give choices. If I meet somebody new, I want to shake them out of autopilot. I ask them a question no one has ever asked before. So going back to toddlers, if they don't want to eat their veggies, why don't you make it fun the same way everything in life should be? Say, you're so lucky. You get to pick. Are we having carrots, broccoli, or avocados first? And if you tell me right now, I'll cut you that many pieces. So you've switched the entire parameter. Rather than, you have to eat your vegetables. No, I don't. And now, they have the power. I learned early on when I used to do magic at restaurants, that if I walk up to you and say, hey, want to see magic? And someone goes, no, what am I going to do there? But if I walk up to you very casually at an angle and say, I only have one minute. So I already have created a time constraint. And I go, do you want to see the most amazing thing you've ever seen? Or it's your lucky night. Do you know what's going on? Right away, I've changed the dynamic because now instead of a yes or no, you've hit the lottery. My lucky night, what's going on? What's happening? As somebody with slightly older kids, I will tell you. They are watching you as you watch them. And I hope you write a book about parenting teenagers. I'll get there soon. They're coming for you. Book number two, book Number two, Tony. A little bit of a preview. Let's talk about the trick. Sure. What do you need from me? How is this going to work?
OZ PEARLMAN:
00:09:52
So normally in this scenario, I'm the director. And I say to you, think of something. Like I told Gayle earlier, think of you having a birthday party. But you know what/ People will watch this and say later. He must have researched you. And do you know what you do for a living? You ask the questions. So how about we take this to an extreme. You're going to be asking Adriana a question. Tony, close your eyes. Visualize yourself doing this. I'm going to put you on the spot and asking her a question that there is absolutely no way in the world I can know the answer to, literally no way in the world. Close your eyes. See yourself. I know I'm putting you on the spot. See yourself doing it. Visualize it. Open your eyes when you're ready. We got one. Ask her. Ask her. What's the question? What was your favorite Christmas present you ever received as a kid? Honest to god, is there any way in the world I could have known what question you were about to ask her? I swear to God, all your journalistic integrity, is there any way that I could have known what question you just asked her? No, no. All right. Here we go. Do you know the answer to that question? I do. OK. I like that was a struggle. All right. You put her on the spot. Look at me. We got only a minute. OK. Think of the answer. OK. Boom. Spacebar. What does your thumb do on a keyboard? Spacebar. She did it twice. Boom, boom. What? You did with your eyes, she jumped. Oh. There's three words, isn't there? Yes. Yeah, see? You didn't mean to do that with your eyes. I'm not going to tell you anything else. Is it not three words? One is a compound word. OK. That's fine. That's fine. Think of the first word. Think of the first letter. Close your eyes. OK. So everyone can see this for you. What's the first letter? B. B. Open your eyes. It's a B. And then, I think she was just old enough-- well, you were going to ask her another question, weren't you? What was the other question you were going to ask her? I could see you were on the fence. It was how many siblings do you have? How many kids does your father have? Seven-- [SHRIEKING] That was too easy. That was too easy. I go to do something harder. Sorry. Close your eyes. I want you to see this. And she was thinking of Christmas. Father, siblings, she got the shoes about-- she was right around 8 years old. Tell us all what-- he asked you the question, not even me. Your favorite Christmas, go back to that moment. Relive it. What did you open up on Christmas Day and you were over the moon? Say it. What was it? A Barbie Power Wheels. A Barbie Power Wheels. Members of the crew, by the way, are jumping up in shock and joy right now. This is incredible. I can't do this. Oh, my gosh. I've seen your clips. And I knew it was true. But now, I've experienced it.
TONY DOKOUPIL:
00:12:15
Have you ever thought you should give up what you're doing for a living to save the world? That's the next plan. That's when the book's done. That's it. You and me, Tony, we team up. It's really remarkable. And I know you say you don't read the mind. But the mind-- --reads the person. How did you-- what did I do that tipped you off? That's the book. Pick up the book, folks. That's it. Read YourMind. It is on sale tomorrow. The book is Read YourMind. So, so good. Oh.
TONY DOKOUPIL:
00:12:35
Oz Pearlman, unbelievable. The book is Read YourMind. You should read it. It will improve your life. I loved that Power Wheels. That does it for us. We will see you guys tomorrow after we've all recovered. That's it for CBS MorningsPlus. Thank you so much for watching.
