"Race to Nowhere"
How much do you pressure your kids to do well in school? How much pressure do they feel they're under? Those are two distinct questions that I had to ask myself today, after seeing a documentary that's getting a lot of buzz called "Race to Nowhere".
It profiles students across the country, including some in California, who feel so stressed out that they burn out before even reaching college.
This is a topic I investigated years ago when I interviewed the editor at large of Psychology Today, Hara Estroff Marano. She had just come up with the concept of "A Nation of Wimps". It was essentially a warning that American kids weren't able to hack it when they finally were 'released into the wild', so to speak, of a college campus. She blamed the expectations parents put on their kids to get great grades, get into great schools and never make mistakes. She particularly called out parents who do anything to ensure mistakes never happen - to the point of fixing what their kids do wrong for them.
This new documentary takes a different tack. It suggests that under "No Child Left Behind" we are overloading our kids with homework, training them only to take tests and not teaching them how to love learning, problem solve or to think critically. Whatever or whoever you blame for it, I do see this happening and it's not a very reassuring way to train our future leaders.
When I went home today, I asked my 7th grader what he thought my expectations were of him. He answered with a Mom-pleasing "make the most" of his educational opportunities, and added he wanted to "get into a good college". At that point I stopped him. For the first time ever I told him that I didn't care what college he goes to, as long as he is happy about what he's learning and transfers that into a passion for what he pursues as a career. Assuming he'll graduate at 21 and retire at 65, I added, that'll help get him through the intervening 44 years.
That was one tweak I made in my parenting after having just seen this documentary. I expect I'll have more when I have a chance to digest what I watched.
If you'd like a chance to see it for yourself, the documentary's airing in Davis at the University Covenant Church. Tickets at the door are $15 but $11.54 if you order online, You can find out more at http://www.racetonowhere.com
