As the world gets ready for the Tiger Woods melodrama to reach a new high (or low) with his televised statement Friday, U.K. bookmaker Paddy Power is offering up several enticing bets for viewers.
According to Darren Haines, who runs public relations for Paddy Power, Woods is a 5/2 favorite to cry - the same odds apply to Woods winning this year's Masters tournament.
(No odds are available as to what sort of crying Woods may do: out-of-control sobbing seems unlikely, though a manly, pursed-lip whimper,, is a possibility. As Haines said in an e-mail: crying is subjective. "One man's crying may be another man's balling.")
A source tells CBS News that Woods will say he "does not know at this point when his return will be."
And, of course, you can wager on the number of times Woods says, "I'm sorry." There's 7/2 odds that he will utter the phrase six or more times - 16/1 odds that he won't say it at all.
Which brings us to the bulk of the bets offered: what cliché will Woods utter first?
"I regret the hurt I've caused" is the favorite at 7/2, with "we all need to move on" at 20/1. He's a 200/1 chance to say "I am retiring from professional golf."
Speaking of longshots, the following phrases are listed at 250/1:
- "My tiger is back in it's cage."
- "My tiger has been tamed."
- "At least I didn't pay."
It might be worth a try. Celebrity image consultant Michael Levine suggests Woods be humorous because, he says, it would help cut the tension.
(An Asheville, N.C. radio station claims it has a leaked version of Woods' statement. "Directly to the point there is no one to blame but me for the mess I have put my wife and family through. I accept total and complete responsibility," Woods will say, according to the station, adding that he and his wife, Elin Nordegren, are splitting and that he will play in the Masters this April.)
In a nod to President Bill Clinton's national soap opera over his dalliance with Monica Lewinsky, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" offers the biggest payday with 500/1 odds.
for him to begin a process and it's going to be a very long walk up a steep, steep hill for him over a period of time," Levine told CBS' "The Early Show."
Woods has been silent for nearly three months since his late-night accident last November that produced an endless stream of revelations about the golfer's infidelity to Nordegren.
The statement, expected to be made at 11 a.m. EST at the PGA's headquarters in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla., will be, according to Woods' agent, in front of a "small group of friends, colleagues and close associates."