What To Tell The Kids?

In the wake of independent counsel Kenneth Starr's graphic report to Congress, parents are now left with the difficult task of explaining the Monica Lewinsky scandal to their children.

Mike Riera, an adolescent counselor and author, told CBS Saturday Morning Co-Anchor Russ Mitchell that while Starr's report is unsettling and shocking, he doesn't think it will make a big difference in the behavior of children.

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But Rierra warns not to use that as an excuse to avoid addressing the whole issue. He says it's still important to talk about it, but it's alright to do it on a general level, without getting into some of the report's more lurid details.

"[Your kids] are not going to be much more comfortable talking about things like oral sex with you than you are with them," he says. "Make sure you take a look at the document. See what it is they're going to have access to. One way or another . . . kids are going to get a look at this stuff."

Riera also advises:

• Any conversation you have with your children should be age appropriate. Don't go into the sexual issues if your son or daughter hasn't gone through puberty. With older kids, your job is to listen and help them articlulate their opinions.
  
• Especially with older children, don't be surprised if your child expresses some very different opinions than your own. This is how they develop their opinions, and they don't believe everything they say. Much of it is intended to shock you.
  
• Ask them some questions, that will give you a sense of where their knowledge is and what their experience is.
  
• If they are going to go on the internet and look at it, you have to talk to them ahead of time. You have to make a stand, whether or not you're going to allow this.
  
• Let these issues evolve to the bigger discussion, a bigger discussion about values, morals, integrity. That's really where the payoff is in the long run for parents and for teenagers is.