USB Fun and Madness
CBSNews.com's Digital Dan Dubno returns with the latest USB accessories for your computer... perfect fun gifts for Father's Day.
The novice climbs to the top of the highest mountain to find the sage meditating alone on the precipice. "What, Oh Wise Man, is the secret to happiness?" The sage gazes upon the weary traveler and solemnly answers: "Treat your laptop well and it will treat you well." "That's ridiculous!" says the traveler. "Ok, perhaps not the secret," responds the Sage, "but it sure couldn't hurt."
After dropping a few laptops here and there, I now carry my laptop in a Kevlar bag. If you're a true gadget nut, you don't just pamper your laptop: you lavish your computer (and yourself) with high-tech play toys. So, in that spirit of play and in homage to your trusty laptop companion, here is a sampling of nutty yet functional USB accessories that should, at least, make you smile.
The USB, or "Universal Serial Bus," connects nearly every obvious accessory to your computer simply and quickly. From mice to keyboards; scanners to printers; MP3 players to GPS devices… a myriad of devices attach umbilically to the host computer via USB ports. USB ports supply up to 500 milliamps of power at about 5 volts… and a computer can host as many as 127 different devices simultaneously (if you had enough powered USB hubs to accommodate them all.)
The USB devices below were selected largely from the greatest privately held collection of truly insane accessories, owned by my gadget-obsessed friend Greg Harper. While I too have my own formidable array of USB-powered microscopes, telescopes, cameras, and even beer-coolers, here's some more unusual and inexpensive USB devices ideal for Father's Day.
USB Missile Launcher Game
First, who couldn't use a desktop missile launcher… a trio of foam-rocket projectiles controlled and fired with precision using the neat software package? Imagine your command of your desk and the environs… pinpointing annoying colleagues or distracting children and "taking them out" with a guided missile strike.
I will admit, for just under $50 bucks, there's something irresistibly childish about targeting harmless foam-headed projectiles, but few who have fired them can deny their joyous appeal. Pan 180 degrees and fire at elevations up to 45 degrees. This device and software were originally sold by Marks & Spencer of England, but are now available from a variety of sources on the web.
USB Glowing Snowman
Here's a must have for the holiday season… the Christmas holiday season that is. But you could be celebrating Christmas in July, perhaps, for only $9.99, with the USB-powered snowman that will never melt. Cycles through 4 different colors using LED lights. Best of all, no software is required. This happy Santa is truly plug-n-play. Available from the fabulous folks at Think Geek, where most of my disposable income is disposed of.
USB Flex Light
Alright, I supposed I must describe some USB gadgets with a modicum of utility. Think Geek also features a flexible cable with a nice night light that will sufficiently light your keyboard on that red-eye flight without waking up everyone in coach. The LED design means the unit will shine for years without burning out and, because it uses just a tiny charge, it won't seriously drain your precious laptop battery. Also quite reasonably priced at $9.99.
USB Sushi Disk
Dynamism introduced the first of these several seasons ago, yet the "menu" has increased and the Zen-like genius of the Sushi USB memory sticks is timeless. These sushi replica drives are still hand-made in Tokyo (in the center of the gadget universe in by an exacting firm in Akihabara). You can order these sushi memory sticks ala carte (one piece each): Today's "specials" include:
I'm still waiting for Dynamism to procure my dream of a custom-made 2 GB "Fugu" (Poisonous Blowfish sushi), but I suppose chefs trained to handle computer-chip-Fugu-sushi remain in short supply.
USB Thumb Drives
While we're talking about USB thumb drives, the ultimate freak-out is the digital digit, a removable drive truly molded in the form of a human thumb. Some find the realism a tad creepy, but the 128 MB Thumb Drive is an $89 work of art, also available from Dynamism.
Pantone Huey Monitor Color Correction
More than 5% of males are color-blind. As one of those lucky folks, my color-blindness seems limited to my inability to differentiate between black and blue socks or brown and black shoes, so frequently I enjoy wearing one of each. However, for those with this affliction, or for the rest of the world with great color acuity, this USB device measures and calibrates LCD and CRT monitors to bring true colors shining through.
Games and movies look better and graphics and photos will print better, when your screen is correctly calibrated. The Pantone huey is a little stick with lights and sensors and it attaches (by USB of course) to your computer with measurement software. About $79, and available at Circuit City and other locations.
Magnetic Card Reader
Alright, do you really need a Universal Magnetic Swipe Reader? This ultra-portable handheld credit card swiper reads magnetic coded information with a single swipe in either direction. If I were a small businessperson and wanted to record the credit card numbers of purchasers, this handy USB attachment would be ideal. But there is increasing evidence that these handy magnetic readers can be used for unsavory purposes as well. Unscrupulous salespersons could easily swipe your credit card into one of these devices quickly recording your card numbers for fraudulent use. These devices can also accept many state drivers' licenses and other security card formats. Under $60.
USB Personal Massager
Instant stress relief from your computer? Ridiculous, you say? Perhaps you'll feel differently with the USB Vibe Massager on your neck or shoulders. The oscillating head vibrates 60 times per second, with a tough rubber dimpled surface focusing relief to pressure centers. The 6 ½ foot cable is useful for reaching tender surfaces like the soles of your feet and other hard to get to pain-spots on that long plane-ride. It doesn't compare with a professional shiatsu massage, but for $4.99, you can't beat the price!
FlyFan Mobile USB Fan
It's not completely climate controlling, but having a good fan does help keep you cool when working away on your laptop. Like the light above, this device is on a bendable metal post, ending in a pair of soft, nylon blades. The motor is quiet and the fan has no switches: just plug in to the USB port and be cool. $10.99, made by Kensington, and available on line or in many computer stores, like CompUSA.
Digital Blue QX5 Computer Microscope
I love this microscope, pure and simple. Digital Blue has improved their inexpensive yet powerful computer microscope making kid-friendly experiments and examination available on PC and Mac. View and record stills and moving video at 10X, 60X, and 200X illumination. Extremely bright LEDs replace traditional microscope mirrors and illuminate objects effectively.
With video recording capabilities, this microscope is far more useful than any I used in high school or college labs. Sample measurement tools and graphic and sound elements are included in the robust software kit. If the word "toy" suggests flimsy construction, frivolity, and purposelessness, this microscope is no toy. But, please don't get me wrong, the QX5 is extreme fun, quite fascinating and kids (aged 8 to, um, 108) will love it. Street price: about $80.
Finally, in the spirit of frivolity, purposelessness, and utter foolishness, I must conclude with my essential USB device:
CoolIT USB Beverage Chiller
Keep your beer or iced espresso macchiato nice and cold while you're stuck at the computer. This USB Beverage Chiller actually works, with a cold plate chilling down to a brisk 45 degrees. Quiet and cool, and absolutely a conversation piece that will bring lots of distracting admirers when you are trying to finish that great American novel you're writing with a tall brew at the beach. About $35 from CoolIT.