Tips for Parents Who Can't Unplug
We've all heard about kids who get addicted to technology and are constantly texting and tweeting and instant messaging. But what about parents who are more focused on their iPhone or other tech device than their offspring?
CBS News correspondent Michelle Miller reported on this issue, which seems to be a growing problem for adults.
Miller met Robin Savage who carries her BlackBerry with her everywhere she goes, whether she's on the job or not.
So when her son Sebastian Deveaux sees his mom's BlackBerry getting all the attention at home, he takes charge, throwing the device under the couch.
Savage says she knows she's to blame.
She told Miller, "I'm at the park, I'm with my children, I have my BlackBerry. … I'm kind of on 24/7. It's nonstop."
She even checked her BlackBerry during her interview with Miller.
Miller said during the interview, "You're peeking!"
Savage replied, "Yeah, because I see the red light and the button."
The use of wireless technology has exploded over the last decade, quadrupling to 285 million subscribers, according to CTIA, The Wireless Association. Miller said it's no wonder more and more parents are emailing, tweeting, and texting when they used to be keeping an eye on their kids.
But kids like Kaitlin Neido are fighting back.
Kaitlin tells her mom when she's feeling ignored, "'Mom, can I please get your attention?'"
And that's her polite approach. Her mom says it often escalates to screaming.
Kaitlin's mom, Joanne Neido, admitted to Miller some of the stuff can wait that she attends to on her phone.
She added, "But I guess it gets addicting."
Joanne said she feels, "tremendous guilt."
Miller said parents admit it's hard to do both things well.
Joanne says she's working on it.
She told Miller, "I'm trying to be the best mother I can be."
"Early Show" contributor and child psychologist Dr. Jennifer Hartstein said on the broadcast Friday children can think the technology is a competition for your attention.
"(The technology is) almost like the third child or the second child or another sibling in the house. Because there could be a lot of feelings of jealousy and competition for your attention. When you're constantly doing this (looking down) or on the computer and your kid is asking for you and you are not paying attention to that cue."
Hartstein said children of all ages can feel this competition, so it's a parent's job to create time without these devices to set an example for their kids.
"We want to model for our teenagers that it's OK to put the gadgets down and actually interact and ask questions and be involved."
Hartstein suggested these tips for parents looking to unplug and improve their relationships with their kids:
HAVE "NO PHONE" TIME
Hartstein said, "I would even add in there have no phone, no e-mail, no TV time. Sit down with one another. Have a couple hours. It doesn't have to be long. An hour where everybody's gadgets are away. And you play a game together, you have a conversation, you watch a movie. Do something together."
NO TECHNOLOGY DURING DINNER
Hartstein said, "No technology at dinner. Have dinner. There's research that shows that a family dinner can be a protective factor for your kids. So let's use that time to talk about their day, talk about important news topics. Really engage with each other."
BE AWARE OF HINTS
Hartstein said, "Be aware of each other."
She added parents should listen to cues, such as, "Hey, I want you, can you put your stuff down and pay
attention to me?"
WHAT IF YOUR SPOUSE IS THE ONE DOING THE HINTING?
Hartstein said, "Well, unfortunately, that is true in my house. And so, yes, my iPhone is my boyfriend according to my husband. And so he has asked me to put it away. And I think that's what you have to do."
She added, "Spouses can say to each other, 'I know work is important, but this is affecting our family. Let's try to work in some family time.' Because, what you have to remember, is that engaged parents have more secure and balanced kids. And that's what every parent wants."