Text Of Lewinsky Testimony (3)

This is part three of lengthy excerpts from Monica Lewinsky's grand jury testimony:

Q. JUROR: And what were you thinking about Linda at this time?

A. What I was thinking at that point was that they had, that they had listened in on our conversation on the phone and that then they came to her and said she was in trouble for something and that then she let them listen in on this lunch conversation.

And then she said, "This is the best thing for you," as if I was left to believe that she had, this was somehow something she had done and that she was trying to help me.

And I thought, "Why did she tell them? Why didn't she just say it was nonsense, it wasn't true? Why did she tell them that I had had this relationship with him?" I didn't know how the Paula Jones people had gotten my name and I thought maybe they had tapped my phone or maybe they had broken into my computer and read my e-mails.

I didn't know how I had gotten involved in this case and so I had said to Linda, "Well, if they have me on tape, I'll just say it's not me. I'll just say it's not me. I'll deny it. I'll deny everything."

Q. JUROR: So they took pictures.

A. Right. So they said, "We have you on tape saying that you'd deny it and we have pictures to prove that you were there." So ...

Q. JUROR: During this time in the hotel with them, did you feel threatened?

A. Yes.

Q. JUROR: Did you feel that they had set a trap?

A. ... I did and ... I didn't understand why they, why they had to trap me into coming there ...

PROSECUTOR: So you didn't know what would happen if you left.

A. No. And then it wasn't until my mom was there that Mike Emmick cleared it up and said to my mom, "Well, it's not that we'll arrest you tonight when you leave the hotel." You know. Because I didn't, I didn't know.

Q. And you didn't end up cooperating that evening.

A. No, I didn't. Because, well...

Q. JUROR: I think that's all the questions on that topic. There is one other question. Going back to Monday night and the president's speech, what did you want or expect to hear from the president?

A. I think what I wanted and expected were two different things. I had, I had been hurt when he referred to me as "that woman" in January, but I was also glad. I was glad that he made that statement and I felt that was the best thing for him to do, was to deny this. And, but I had been hurt. I mean, it showed me how angry he was with me and I understood that. And his, the people who work for him have trashed me, they claim they haven't said anything about me, they have smeared me and they called me stupid, they said I couldn't write, they said I was a stalker, they said I wore inappropriate clothes, I mean, you all know. So I just, my family had been maligned because of a lot of their tactics and I felt that I had wanted him to say that I was a nice, decent person and that he as sorry this had happened because I, I tried to do as much as I could to protect him.

I'm only 24 and so I felt that I, this has been hard for me and this has been hard on my family and I just wanted him to take back by saying something nice, he would have taken back every disgusting, horrible thing that anyone has said about me from that White House. And that was what I wanted.

Q. JUROR: Monica, none of us in this room are perfect. We all fall and we fall several times a day. The only difference between my age and when I was your age is now I get up faster. If I make a mistake and fall, I get up and brush myself off. I used to stay there a while after a mistake. That's all I have to say.

Q. JUROR: Monica, is there anything that you would like to add to your prior testimony?

A. I would. I think because of the public nature of how this investigation has been and what the charges aired, that I would just like to say that no one ever asked me to lie and I was never promised a job for my silence. And that I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything that's happened. (The witness begins to cry.) And I hate Linda Tripp.

Q. JUROR: And I also want to say that even though right now you feel a lot of hate for Linda Tripp, but you need to move on and leave her where she is because whatever goes around comes around.

PROSECUTOR: And just to clarify, and I know we've discussed this before, despite your feelings about Linda Tripp, have you lied to this grand jury about anything with regard to Linda Tripp because you don't like her?

A. No. It wouldn't have been necessary to lie. I think she's done enough on her own, so ...

FOREPERSON: Basically what we wanted to leave with, because this will probably be your last visit to us, I hope, I hope I'm not going to have to do this any more and I hope you won't have to come here any more, but we wanted to offer you a bouquet of good wishes that includes luck, success, happiness and blessings.

A. Thank you. (The witness begins to cry.) I appreciate all of your understanding for this situation and your, your ability to open your heart and your mind and, and your soul. I appreciate that.

FOREPERSON: We'd like to excuse you and thank you very much for your testimony.

A. Thank you.

(End Of Testimony)