Leadership

Seth Godin's Tips for Dealing With Bullies

By Jessica Stillman

Updated on: January 28, 2009 / 8:30 AM EST / MoneyWatch

The Find: Bullies can make work miserable so Seth Godin is offering a simple and effective (if perhaps controversial) way of disarming them.
The Source: The blog of marketing guru Seth Godin.

The Takeaway: Godin may be better known for his marketing insights but like anyone who's been around the business world for awhile, he's certainly dealt with his share of bullies. Today he's offering his method for handling the office bully and kicks it off with an analysis of exactly what's going on when a colleague tries to demean or demoralize you.

A bully is playing a game, one that he or she enjoys and needs. You're welcome to play this game if it makes you happy, but for most people, it will make you miserable.

Once you realize that the bully depends on his victims to get his jollies, and that you certainly aren't going to get anything out of indulging him, how to respond to his unpleasant antics becomes clear. In sum, "take your ball and go home." Godin elaborates:

The way to work with a bully is to take the ball and go home. First time, every time. When there's no ball, there's no game. Bullies hate that. So they'll either behave so they can play with you or they'll go bully someone else.

Call her on her behavior (not who she is, but what she does). "I'm sorry, but when you talk to me like that, I'm unable to do good work. I'll be in my office if you need me." Then walk out, not in a huff, but with a measure of respect for the person (not the behavior).

So why call this straightforward seeming advice controversial? Because, as Godin acknowledges, follow his advice with the wrong person and "it might even get you fired." Still he urges readers to go with his plan as "it will probably save your job and your sanity." Or, if you'd like another perspective on how to handle the office strong man (or woman), check out BNET's crash course on dealing with a workplace bully.

The Question: With the financial situation dialing up the stress level at work, are you seeing more bullying at the office?

(Image of bully by Chesi - Fotos CC, CC 2.0)