My Boss Only Promotes Women

Dear Stanley,
I work for a successful life insurance company in Michigan, and I'm stuck with a department head who refuses to interview me for a management position even though I have a degree and excellent project management skills. The last five people she promoted were all women with no degrees and little project experience -- including her sister-in-law. Human Resources could care less, and I take care of sick relatives, which prevents me from leaving the state. In addition, the employment situation in Michigan is horrific. I'm willing to do anything ethical to get ahead. What should I do?
Stiffed

.........................................................................................................................................

Dear Stiffed,

I take it you are a) not a woman and b) not married to a relative of your boss. It's tough to hit one out of the park with two strikes against you. You also work for an organization that clearly is asleep at the switch in some key regards, working in a state where you can't really go anywhere else. By my count, that makes four strikes. I think you may be out.

But don't despair. The good news is that you work for a real company, in a real industry. This means that, all appearances to the contrary, your organization needs to appear fair and rational and behave in what is obviously a patently ridiculous or obviously illegal manner. This is most particularly true of large, hulking bureaucracies like, well, insurance companies, for one. Such corporate structures pride themselves on process, on paper, on adhering to industry standards. If what you say is true, you are a victim of sexism in hiring. You are also a dramatic example of somebody whose obvious qualifications are being ignored, sometimes due to that most dreaded crime: nepotism. You say that Human Resources could care less -- I assume that what you mean is that it couldn't. Except that it's their job to care -- if somebody actually brings matters to their attention.

I rarely advise a person to contact Human Resources about a problem. HR is very often designed to create problems for employees, not solve them. In this case, a two-tiered approach that involves HR may be necessary. But first -- I'm going to assume you do a good job and are worthy of promotion. Are you? Really? Come on, now. Truly? You are? Okay, then. Let's proceed.

1. Sit down with your boss and ask her why you haven't been promoted. Prepare to listen to, swallow, and keep down a lot of hooey. Take notes. Indicate your appreciation of her thoughts on the matter and indicate your willingness to make changes, step up to the plate, all that good stuff. Then tell her that you want the next promotion, that you're going to convince her you're worth it, and that you intend to do everything in your power to make it impossible for her to do otherwise. She will say fine. That's what bosses always say when they want to get you out of their offices.
2. You then must give the appearance of doing everything she has suggested. As you do so, document lightly the stuff that's going well. Find a sympathetic person in HR. You're an insurance company. I guarantee you there are layers upon layers. Find somebody in a middle layer. It would help if she were a woman. Women are very often less paranoid and brittle about matters pertaining to gender. Don't threaten. Don't whine. Just raise the issue in a light-hearted but serious way. Say you're confused. Lay out the story. See if she's listening. Make sure that NOBODY GOES TO YOUR BOSS TO AERATE THE SITUATION. Because that will KILL you. But make the matter known on a semi-loose and informal, awareness-only kind of level.
3. Then go back and work your butt off. Be of good cheer. Don't be a pain in the boss's side. But DO keep up the quiet, calm, relentless pressure for your promotion. As my mother used to tell me, "You don't ask, you don't get." And if it should NOT come through after all this?
4. You might think about cultivating a few pals in the Law Department, too.