Made In ... Where?

I am rather fond of my fountain pen. It was, of course, made in England. And if you unscrew the barrel it says so, in very small engraved letters.

But before very long my pen, my suit, my car, my food, my whole possessions may well be labeled - Made in the European Union. It is not a phrase that rolls off the tongue nicely, and it won't do anything at all for product recognition.

If you are partial, for instance, to a dram of our famous Scotch whiskey, you will know it is slowly and lovingly produced in Scotland, where the fresh spring waters gurgle across the heather. Well, in future every Scotch whiskey bottle will have to say: Made in the European Union, which could mean any godforsaken factory in Poland, Turkey, Portugal, Belgium, Italy, Romania and a dozen other countries.

For the sake of the fatuous dream of European Unity we will soon be forced to sacrifice our national pride in making things. And not just us. The French have a proud reputation for clothes design and for perfume. Made in France is very much a guarantee that you're buying the best. Made in the European Union isn't. The French are hopping mad.

German engineers don't want their precision equipment labeled anything other than Made in Germany. You can hardly blame them. Two European nations came up with this toe-curlingly dotty idea. Those countries were Italy and Greece. Well Italy hasn't been famous since Michangelo did a bit of decorating in Rome, and the Greeks haven't produced anything or anybody noteworthy since Zeus – and even he was a mythical god.

And if that makes me sound like a little Englander, so be it. I am.

Made in England, and proud of it. Even if they won't let me print it on the label!

By Ed Boyle