Last-Minute Christmas Wishes

We're getting down to the wire here, with Christmas just next week, but there is still time to put in some last-minute requests with the Big Guy From the North Pole for a special travel gift.

A few columns back I submitted my own personal travel wish list (and yes, Santa, I am still firm about that warm-weather cruise with whales; no compromises). But this time I thought I'd suggest a few wishes that I hope come your way during your travels.

MAY YOUR PLANES BE HALF-EMPTY AND THE MIDDLE SEATS ALWAYS VACANT.

And of course, that means that you'll never get stuck in the middle seat on a long flight. There will be no screaming infants, and the fat guy who was scheduled to sit next to you from Miami to Seattle got gastric bypass for Christmas and is now as skinny as a gymnast.

MAY YOU RECEIVE AN ENDLESS SHOWER OF UPGRADES BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SO GOOD.

Business class? Sure, we've got some seats available, go ahead and move up. We're so sorry that your Grade ZZZ cabin was flooded; can we offer you the Owner's Cabin instead? Gosh, who knew those conventioneers were going to want the single rooms for two more nights; we'll have to put you in the Penthouse Suite. Showers of upgrades, bouquets of upgrades, cascades of upgrades all lavished upon your worthy head.

MAY YOUR TRAINS RUN ON TIME, YOUR FLIGHTS BE NON-STOP, AND YOUR LUGGAGE BE THE FIRST OFF THE CAROUSEL.

And have yourself a merry little Christmas. And thanks for reading my travel blog.