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Jennifer Hudson Breaks Silence on Family Tragedy

Jennifer Hudson poses at a news conference, Thursday, April 1, 2010, after debuting her national advertising campaign with Weight Watchers in New York. (AP Photo/Charles Sykes) AP

NEW YORK (CBS) Jennifer Hudson spoke candidly for the first time about the murders of her mother, brother and nephew on VH1's "Behind the Music: Jennifer Hudson" Monday.

PICTURES: Jennifer Hudson

"It's all a blur, it was surreal," she said about the day. "It was like I was outside of myself."

On Oct. 24, 2008, Hudson's mother, Darnell Donnerson, and brother, Jason, were found shot to death inside Donnerson's Chicago home. Her nephew, Julian King, was found three days later, dead from multiple gunshot wounds.

For the two weeks after the event, the 27-year-old said she secluded herself in one room with just loved ones.

"I prayed when I'd get up in the morning and prayed before I laid down at night," she recalled.

At the 2009 Grammy's, Hudson put on a brave face and performed an emotional rendition of "You Pulled Me Through." She later took home her first Grammy award for "Best R&B Album."

"I was definitely thinking of my family when I was singing that song," she said. "I could hear my brother in my head, like, 'Jennifer, you need to kill this, you need to get up and do it.' I knew he would be disappointed if I didn't do it justice."

Today, Hudson said she feels she's "lived about three or four different lives."

The former "American Idol" is now a mother to 11-month-old son David (with her fiance David Otunga).

"He makes me feel like the most special person on earth. I want him to get the same love and the same upbringing my mother gave us."

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