How to Tank at Work

Can't figure out why you're not ascending the corporate ladder? Maybe it's because you're unknowingly practicing some of the 12 Ways to Become an Utter Failure at Work. Written with tongue planted firmly in cheek (but with a serious underlying message), the article shows how office workers can really make their work lives miserable. For example:

• Brown Nose Always leave the office 30 seconds after your manager and get there 30 seconds before he arrives. Everybody in the office will cotton on to what you're doing, but the manager will be in blissful ignorance and think you're committed to the company cause. Roll your eyes at the boss whilst shaking your head every time somebody leaves early or arrives late.
• Undermine Spend hours on Facebook, MySpace and dating sites looking for dirt on colleagues. When you find something, accidentally send an e-mail with the link to the entire company. If that's too risky, borrow somebody else's computer or just print pictures off at home and surreptitiously stick them all over the office when it's empty. Blame Colin from dispatch.