Leadership

How to Brag (Without Annoying Everyone)

By Jessica Stillman

Updated on: January 14, 2010 / 6:30 AM EST / MoneyWatch

Tooting your own horn doesn't come easily to everyone, but in business the ability to let the world know about your skills and successes is key to getting ahead. So what holds some back from broadcasting their accomplishments? Among other reasons, many fear coming off like a big-headed jerk and generally annoying all and sundry. Thankfully, science has come to the rescue as two new psychological studies reveal how to brag without annoying people.
Reported on the BPS Research Digest blog, the studies asked a hundred college students to engage in role-playing in which one was "Avi," a big-headed achiever who was less than timid about sharing his A+ grade on a recent exam. However, Avi's bragging occurred in different ways in various scripts and onlookers responded to his boasting very differently depending on where it fell in the conversation:

In two versions, the friend raised the topic of the exam before he either did or did not ask Avi what grade he got; in the other two versions, Avi first raised the topic of the exam, which either did or did not provoke a question from his friend about what grade he got. In every version Avi ended up boasting that he got an 'A+'. Afterwards, the students rated Avi's character.
The crux of it: context is everything when it comes to boasting. If Avi's friend raised the topic of the exams, Avi received favourable ratings in terms of his boastfulness and likability, regardless of whether he was actually asked what grade he got. By contrast, if Avi raised the topic of the exams, but failed to provoke a question, then his likability suffered and he was seen as more of a boaster. In other words, to pull off a successful boast, you need it to be appropriate to the conversation.

So what's the take home? If someone directly asks you about a topic, go ahead and sing your own praises; you won't pay a penalty. If, however, those you meet don't naturally bring up the areas in which you excel, steering the conversation to those topics and allowing them to ask questions before you boast is key. Nothing earth-shattering there, but having explicit guidelines about when bragging is OK just might help tighter-lipped young people feel confident about talking themselves up.

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(Image of self-promotion graffiti by Salim Virji, CC 2.0)