Hoffman/Lewis CEO Can't Stop Cursing and Swearing on His Blog

Hoffman/Lewis in San Francisco and St. Louis promises on its web site to "get beyond the fleeting trends, false goals, and dreadful jargon of contemporary advertising." But a look at the blog of its CEO, Bob Hoffman (pictured), shows that 'getting beyond the jargon' seems to mean dropping the F-bomb as much as possible. The blog is titled "The Ad Contrarian; Cranky opinions and advice from the CEO of a pretty big ad agency." If you click back through his posts, you can see that there isn't much Hoffman doesn't describe without using words that start with "F," "S," and "Bull." (Does he talk to clients like this? Drop us an email with your Hoffman stories!)

Hoffman came to BNET's attention when he began criticizing a previous post on BBDO's loss of the Pepsi account. Hoffman's clients include Toyota, McDonald's and Bank of the West. The company claims billings of $140 million and employs 90 staff.

What follows is a verbatim selection from the last couple of months of the musings of Hoffman, presuming your corporate internet filter even allows you to pull up this page:

...the ad business has become such a piece of shit.

Do you really want to work for these morons the rest of your life?

Someone must have dick-slapped the guy who wrote the article I "assigned" because he has since disclaimed his initial mistake.

I was thinking that maybe advertising was the world's number one bullshit profession.

...the "media elite" in this country are a fucking disgrace.

And if it's so ifuckingconic, why does it need to be "reinvented?"

Why am I using so many fucking exclamation marks?!

October is the worst month of the year and Halloween is the worst day of the year. Good fucking riddance.

... the internet is a kind of antidote for lies, smears, and general bullshit. Pepsi: Is spending 1.2 billion (yeah, with a b) behind a "rebranding" over 3 years. The first move is the introduction of new logos. If the rest of the "rebranding" is as shitty as this, it's gonna be a long 3 years. 1.2 billion on fucking Pac-Man?

I started a Facebook page for The Ad Contrarian. I have no idea why, other than I'm trying desperately to be cool. I don't even know what the fuck it does.

Budweiser is in deep dark shit.

Ever since the introduction of TiVo about 10 years ago we've been hearing the same bullshit over and over -- tv advertising is dead. If it's so fucking dead, how come I can't watch a goddamn playoff game without a brain damaging barrage of "0% financing," talking fucking geckos, and "drinkability," whatever the hell that is? ... So, all this fucking hyperventilating is about no more than 3% of spots being missed by "TiVo-ing". ... More spots are missed by people logging on to the fucking Ad Contrarian. ... Tomorrow: More "advertising is dead" bullshit.

One thing we can all agree on -- there's a lot of bullshit in the ad business. ... As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for presidential candidates, art critics, and branding consultants, we would lead the league in bullshit. ...What occurred to me earlier this week was that we create two different kinds of bullshit. The first kind is intentionally misleading bullshit. You know, the "no pain reliever is stronger" (i.e., they're all the same) kind of bullshit.

We are often told that the big advantage of web marketing is that it is so easily measurable. Bullshit.

On quick reading, it gives the impression that if you run an online ad you have a 47% chance of someone in that group purchasing your service or product. Bullshit.

Get your best creative person together with the real decision maker, and get everyone else out of the fucking way.

Top 5 Bullshit Marketing Terms Of 2008...

... Just to repeat, interactive my ass.

I've written three drafts of this post and I still don't know what the hell I'm trying to say. The Crisis of Advertising? I have no idea what to do about it and anyone who says he does is full of shit.

Already, you have no fucking chance...

When things go badly, you fucked up. ... Worst of all, you can never adequately explain to your mother what the fuck it is you actually do.

No more fucking crème fraîche. With any luck all the bullshit restaurants will close down and we'll be able to get back to eating good stuff like grilled cheese and spaghetti and meatballs.